Opening up about autism at work

Hello. I understand where you’re coming from. I also work in a role which isn’t suited to me too, I work in a supermarket. I used to mask all the time, and id frequently end up going off sick. It was deemed to be mental health issues. This was before I knew I was autistic.
When I finally got my diagnosis, I let work know and they have been very supportive. They’ve allowed me to use my loop earplugs, kept the days I work the same, and the big one for me is the exemption from wearing the headsets. You might have seen them, a lot of retail places are incorporating them now. For me though, they’re like torture devices. Intrusive, unnecessary and highly distressing to be wearing all day. I mean I use earplugs to block out noise, those things force it upon you! Were it not for me disclosing my autism, I would no doubt be forced to wear them. Despite being in a supermarket, I have been very lucky with the support.

Being able to wear the earplugs has definitely helped, cause I used to hide in the toilet frequently, block my ears and just hide my head inside my cardigan just to get some restbite from the noise. 

I also reduced my hours slightly too, as I’d recognised the hours I was working were contributing to the burnout.

Good luck in your assessment, and from my experience I would open up. Once you unmask, it’s a lot less weight to carry, despite some of the obstacles like other colleagues questioning things. That’ll be pass though, people get bored quick. 

Exactly 

Good morning from America,

So my experience was interesting in the fact that my current position is to help people with disabilities find employment. Because of this, I announced my diagnosis in my interview, just to make it clear that I can understand people with disabilities due to my own. My coworkers are pretty aware and accepting of my diagnosis (Ex. my boss once asked me to drive to the big metropolis nearby, but then stopped herself when she realized I can’t handle driving on big city streets). But again, this is an interesting case where my coworkers are used to being around people with disabilities and some of my coworkers even have disabilities of their own.

My last job at a factory I was way more careful. In my area (The Midwest) there’s a lot of misconceptions about Autism, so there’s a big chance that revealing your diagnosis will be met with being belittled or messed with. I only let a handful of coworkers I knew were safe know and one supervisor in case I ever needed help.

So I guess my advice is be careful. I’ve seen that it can be very helpful, but make sure you can trust the people you tell.

Thanks for your kind words.

MrT  You have been through a lot, my fingers are crossed for you for your tribunal! (More for the nerves, as it sounds like you've been dilgent with your evidence collection.) I am glad you are standing up against those who discriminate. Although I am sad for your experience, you are paving the way those that come after, by showing companies they can't push people out.

I will say this honestly as it is my own lived experience:

Be very very careful about disclosing unless you really are struggling with aspects of your work. 

Iain said:

Ask work to adapt to your needs. I have honestly only heard of one or two cases this was done well - most companies either ignore it or try to push you out as you are now seen as a bit of a liability.

 That has been my experience. I was so relieved when I was diagnosed as 'struggles' I had over my working life now had a cause. I naively thought 'the law is on my side' and asked for reasonable adjustments. What happened was I was refused and removed from my post and my career. Now I am in the very expensive process of an employment tribunal for disability discrimination.

Iain said:

At work, keep everything in writing as there is always a reasonable risk that they will discriminate against you, so if you can supply evidence of emails where they promised something and never delivered or similar then you can build up a decent claim

That is the best advice. I have absolutely everything including transcripts from online meetings (which was agreed beforehand to be recorded) I believe I have gathered so much evidence showing discrimination going back over 5 years.

The one good thing is that at tribunal they are not disputing my disabilities.

Going to tribunal has a drawback in that it will be in the public domain via govt website. I am conflicted over this as I am a very private person but also feel that whoa be tide them and there deserve every bit of bad publicity they might get.

However, apart from all the other negatives is the not knowing what the result will be. For an autist that is torture where I need a semblance of certainty to maintain my regulation.

I am 'lucky' if you can say that being in my fifties that I could cope with no job and just 'retire' if I get a payout. 

Squid said:

I work in a job/role that really isn't that compatible to my autistic traits

I would recommend starting a long term plan to change to a role that is more accommodating for your needs . Do you have anything in mind that will fit this role?

Squid said:

This period off work feels like the culmination of me trying to cope for years and years and finally getting to my limit.

Sounds like classic autistic burnout. There is an article about this here: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/autistic-fatigue

I think that almost every autist who has had a job experiences this or worse (meltdown) directly because of their jobs and there are only a few things that I think can be done:

1 - Toughen up. This involves learning better coping skills but will always take a toll and burnout is likely to be a common occurrance.

2 - Ask work to adapt to your needs. I have honestly only heard of one or two cases this was done well - most companies either ignore it or try to push you out as you are now seen as a bit of a liability.

3 - Give it up and do something else. In my last role I chose to change from being a manager to a technician because it was so hard to work for my own boss who was clearly autistic and took great offence at any mention of it about himself. He was also someone who worked almost 24/7 and expected the same from his sub managers.

Luckily I took a specialist position and had a 50% pay bump as a result and I had way less contact with the rest of the team as I was responsible for a load of our staff out in the field and worked unsocial hours when they were working (weekends and late evenings when they were at events).

I digress - I would recommend a hybrid strategy for you - start to learn some coping skills by engaging with a psychotherapist who has experience in helping autists, learn more about your traits and how to manage them better (look for advice on this forum), start looking for a job better suited to your needs and learn techniques of meditation to help you get more out of any quiet time to recharge.

Of course this all takes a lot of effort so consider treating it as a project plan - break the tasks down and review it every week or two and track progress to get a sense of accomplishment. Give yourself time to breathe and look forward to the light at the end of the tunnel.

At work, keep everything in writing as there is always a reasonable risk that they will discriminate against you, so if you can supply evidence of emails where they promised something and never delivered or similar then you can build up a decent claim for a nice severance package at the end of it all to start your next role (assuming it is a different company of course...).

These are just my thoughts, but as some random off the internet I would expect you to take them with a pinch of salt and do your own research ;)

Good luck.

You will probably find that you don't need to change very much. What changes is your attitude. You can be calmer because you understand what is happening. You know why you're anxious, nervous, struggling, etc. And why you might need to step away for a few minutes if things get a bit much.

You can put less pressure on yourself to perform, which can mean you do just as much once you get used to it but it feels easier.

You can also feel more comfortable allowing yourself time to relax in the evenings or whenever. It's not laziness.

This means others will still see the 'you' they now, just a slightly calmer less stressed version. You may feel different but not look as different as you think.

I haven't told my work yet, as my current position is now so little direct contact I feel i don't need to  -though I burned out of my last job earlier this year so I've been there, so to speak, and know the pain and dangers of over-stretching.  

I think others might have more relevant advice as mine feels second hand, but taking small steps in revealing can let you 'test the waters' of how they might react to you -so revealing sensitives like if it's too bright or noisy perhaps and asking for accomodations around them? 

I wish you luck on your journey to a happier you!