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Why do men like women who act like little girls?

TheCatWoman

I've been thinking about this for a while, men often complain that women like "bad guys" and not "nice ones" like them. But there's a rarely acknowleged equivalent, men going for little girly princesses, the child women, who pretend they don't understand things and can't do things and all the men think it's cute and go falling over themselves to help, the rest of us just get told not to be stupid and learn how to fix it ourselves. The child woman, will also be incredibly manipulative and often end up taking the man for a ride, emotionaly and often financially too and they seem to keep getting away with it. Men I know who've come out of a relationship with these sort of women, swear they never want to be in a relationship like that again, but within months or sometimes weeks have found another who treats them just as badly and they seem incapable of learning from their mistakes.

I'm not trying to have a go at anyone here, apart from maybe the child women, I'm just curious to know if others recognise this pattern of behaviour and how they deal with it? 

Parents

  • I've experienced this a lot. Being blunt, bookish, and not caving in had a lot of guys keeping their distance when I was younger. At least, that's what I think it was. Men simply wouldn't believe me when I said I wanted a nice guy. In the NT world, it's taken for granted that you say a platitude rather than the plain truth.

    The behaviour you describe is also classic social awareness/manipulation, of which I had very little. Joy The awareness that some men, and NTs, seem to prefer learned helplessness and played-down intelligence. Just my subjective experience. I've been amazed by men who refuse to consider a wider range of women, are wary of sci-fi readers and women who don't like shopping; anyone less sociable, nonconformist, etc. Yet those guys end up disillusioned, wonder why 'women spend so much' and then get burned out because of 'all women'. I'm not saying all men, of course.

  • in reply to PunkSwan

    Oh yes the 'all you women' comments, I think they come from the biggest game players out there, that studied helplessness always draws them in and then they get burned and keep going back for more. 

    One of the reasons  will remain single is that I'm fed up of the tropes about women meaning the opposite of what they say, the old women say no when they mean yes thing has crept into every area of relationship life to an often stupid level. Although I think often we get asked our opinion as a sop and our partners have already made up thier minds and we give them the "wrong" answer and end up with a Chinese takeaway instead of the Indian we asked for. Why couldn't they just have said 'do you fancy a Chinese takeaway?" in the first place? Why cause all this aggravation and ill will?

  • in reply to TheCatWoman
    TheCatWoman said:
    Although I think often we get asked our opinion as a sop and our partners have already made up thier minds and we give them the "wrong" answer and end up with a Chinese takeaway instead of the Indian we asked for. Why couldn't they just have said 'do you fancy a Chinese takeaway?" in the first place? Why cause all this aggravation and ill will?

    This is not just a male thing - I used to get this from one long term partner when the relationship was going through a low patch. Whatever I said or thought was wrong and we could only ever do what she wanted or the rest of the day would turn into me being constantly reminded that the other option she wanted would have been better.

  • in reply to Iain

    Not ever having had a relationship with a woman I can't comment from personal experience, but I believe you. In my experience this hasn't been due to the relationship going though a low patch, but normal operating.

    I've experienced this especially around xmas and birthdays, I was asked by my then partner what I would like for my 40th and maybe we could go somewhere for the weekend and where would I like to go. I said I quite fancied going to the Eden Project and then to Rick Steins restaurant to see if it was all it was cracked up to be. A few days later, I was informed that we were not going to the Eden Project or anywhere else in Cornwall, but that we were going to London to see a play at The Globe Theatre. I said no, I don't like theatre, I don't like London and I'm not a massive Shakespeare fan, I was told that I SHOULD like it because I liked history?!?!

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  • in reply to Iain

    Not ever having had a relationship with a woman I can't comment from personal experience, but I believe you. In my experience this hasn't been due to the relationship going though a low patch, but normal operating.

    I've experienced this especially around xmas and birthdays, I was asked by my then partner what I would like for my 40th and maybe we could go somewhere for the weekend and where would I like to go. I said I quite fancied going to the Eden Project and then to Rick Steins restaurant to see if it was all it was cracked up to be. A few days later, I was informed that we were not going to the Eden Project or anywhere else in Cornwall, but that we were going to London to see a play at The Globe Theatre. I said no, I don't like theatre, I don't like London and I'm not a massive Shakespeare fan, I was told that I SHOULD like it because I liked history?!?!

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