Benefits of a formal diagnosis?

Thank you, All, for your thoughtful and thought provoking responses. My wife thinks I am autistic, which prompted me doing some online tests. I scored an average of 38 in the ASQ test (did it 5 times!). I did some other tests which confirmed definite autistic traits. Has anyone else done these tests and gone on to get a formal diagnosis? Does a formal diagnosis require input from a close relative? 

I told my 2 closest friends and my mother that I suspect I'm autistic, but got the response that everyone is a bit autistic and that the whole field is made up and if you pay someone to diagnose you, they will give you the diagnosis of autism regardless of whether you are or not. I found this very deflating - made me feel that they don’t really know me at all. Or maybe I’m just a very good masker.

But masking is so exhausting. I’m wondering if a formal diagnosis would give me the courage I need to unmask and just be me. It would be so liberating to not feel like I had to keep acting neurotypically. To just be me. Finally!. 

A maybe useful analogy...

Last year I had an eating disorder relapse and started being more aware of disordered eating in everyone else. In my head what I was doing wasn't serious because everyone else has food rules. 

The dietician helped with this observation: everyone has food rules but not everyone is passing out half way up a hill because they can't break their food rules and they don't let their food rules dictate all other aspects of their lives.

I'm using this example because I think it's easier to explain. The point is, iny head, autism is a spectrum and so everyone might 'be a little bit autistic' but it becomes ASD at the point at which it is interfering with your ability to function. Heavily masking probably fits this criteria. 

I've also noticed that my closest friends and family have autistic traits... That's probably why we're able to get along. A few initially reacted the same as yours, because they were comparing themselves only in terms of the traits that I wasn't hiding from them.. traits they share. i recently discovered that a friend of a friend of mine who works in social work had always just assumed that I had already been diagnosed.

A maybe useful analogy...

Last year I had an eating disorder relapse and started being more aware of disordered eating in everyone else. In my head what I was doing wasn't serious because everyone else has food rules. 

The dietician helped with this observation: everyone has food rules but not everyone is passing out half way up a hill because they can't break their food rules and they don't let their food rules dictate all other aspects of their lives.

I'm using this example because I think it's easier to explain. The point is, iny head, autism is a spectrum and so everyone might 'be a little bit autistic' but it becomes ASD at the point at which it is interfering with your ability to function. Heavily masking probably fits this criteria. 

I've also noticed that my closest friends and family have autistic traits... That's probably why we're able to get along. A few initially reacted the same as yours, because they were comparing themselves only in terms of the traits that I wasn't hiding from them.. traits they share. i recently discovered that a friend of a friend of mine who works in social work had always just assumed that I had already been diagnosed.