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Dealing with co-workers comments

pins

Hi,

I have AuDHD and I started my first full-time a job two months ago, and basically my job is two-fold:

One: I have been mainly hired to push the company to a more technically advanced position.

Two: I have been hired to also help with day-to-day tasks to ease workload for another team whilst one of their co-workers who did more of those things has taken a three month sabbatical.

Setting aside difficulties managing these two different jobs at the same time, with no clear structure on how from anyone, I keep getting comments from the team when I been away for few hours doing what I was "actually" hired to do. Comments such as "Ready to come back now hm?" or "Must be good to not have to deal with the stress over here..", and I can sense their feelings of frustration so strongly.

It has really started to take a toll on me, because I work super hard and yet I go home with their comments that feels and becomes my "truth", ie that I am lazy and should be let go.

So, I am just wondering, how do you deal with comments from co-workers, or their frustrations, like claiming one is lazy etc when there are no grounds for it?

Would greatly appreciate any help.

Parents
  • pins said:
    I have been mainly hired to push the company to a more technically advanced position.

    I have a similar background where I was hired in to fix underperforming IT departments and get them efficient again.

    One thing that is worth understanding about the vast majority of these positions is your role in this, which is often not made explicit.

    You are there to be the "bad guy", highlighting the failings of the team and what they need to do to improve. Many staff take this personally but the company will use you to focus the negativity towards, sparing the regular management the hassle.

    When you finish then expect little thanks from the team - you have causes them a lot of disruption and change in the process and they will remember this and associate it with you.

    It really helps to thing of this as a time constrained task that is going to be unpleasant. You get in, mess up their comfortable (if unproductive) way of working and make them have to change - maybe to have more accountability or take on more tasks. Why would they like you for this.

    I always used to use a compartmentalisation technique of preparing myself in the morning to go into work and switching into work mode on the train then when I left I would have a little routine to switch back out of it and refuse to think about it when at home.

    It takes a lot of practice but works well. Switching off your work phone at home is a great way to make sure it is not going interfere until the next day.

    If work thoughts start, look around at the things that mean the most to you and think "am I going to let work spoil these for me" and change your train of thought to something pleasant.

    pins said:
    how do you deal with comments from co-workers, or their frustrations, like claiming one is lazy etc when there are no grounds for it?

    I'm in charge of them so their opinions of me are pretty irrelevant. If I get accused of being lazy then I ask to see their productivity stats and ask if they have room for improvement of a higher workload. This normally shuts them up.

    So long as I'm pulling my weight and doing my job well then who cares what they say. If they make snide remarks then call them out - make a complaint if you need to but shut down that behaviour of disrespect.

    Have you been on any management training courses? If not I would ask for some to give you the tools to do this and some role play in getting the approach right.

Reply
  • pins said:
    I have been mainly hired to push the company to a more technically advanced position.

    I have a similar background where I was hired in to fix underperforming IT departments and get them efficient again.

    One thing that is worth understanding about the vast majority of these positions is your role in this, which is often not made explicit.

    You are there to be the "bad guy", highlighting the failings of the team and what they need to do to improve. Many staff take this personally but the company will use you to focus the negativity towards, sparing the regular management the hassle.

    When you finish then expect little thanks from the team - you have causes them a lot of disruption and change in the process and they will remember this and associate it with you.

    It really helps to thing of this as a time constrained task that is going to be unpleasant. You get in, mess up their comfortable (if unproductive) way of working and make them have to change - maybe to have more accountability or take on more tasks. Why would they like you for this.

    I always used to use a compartmentalisation technique of preparing myself in the morning to go into work and switching into work mode on the train then when I left I would have a little routine to switch back out of it and refuse to think about it when at home.

    It takes a lot of practice but works well. Switching off your work phone at home is a great way to make sure it is not going interfere until the next day.

    If work thoughts start, look around at the things that mean the most to you and think "am I going to let work spoil these for me" and change your train of thought to something pleasant.

    pins said:
    how do you deal with comments from co-workers, or their frustrations, like claiming one is lazy etc when there are no grounds for it?

    I'm in charge of them so their opinions of me are pretty irrelevant. If I get accused of being lazy then I ask to see their productivity stats and ask if they have room for improvement of a higher workload. This normally shuts them up.

    So long as I'm pulling my weight and doing my job well then who cares what they say. If they make snide remarks then call them out - make a complaint if you need to but shut down that behaviour of disrespect.

    Have you been on any management training courses? If not I would ask for some to give you the tools to do this and some role play in getting the approach right.

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