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I Don't Know What To Do Anymore

NAS39135

Hello everyone, 

I m really struggling, and have been for months but just tried to press on, fake smiling and trying to interact with people when I wasn't 100%. 

I thought being diagnosed would help, but it hasn't at all. I was late diagnosed at 27 in 2017 and still going nowhere. I have no references for work or volunteering. I can't socialise without being embarrassed for just simply talking to someone. I feel lost and empty. I've had a lot of pain and grief in my life and I don't think I'll ever get over that. I've been in and out of therapy for years since my teens. 

There's just no signpost anymore. I have nothing I want to achieve in the future because my chances were screwed from when I was born when date decided to put me in the hands of incapable caregivers who were emotionally elsewhere. 

I don't know what to do anymore Pensive

Parents

  • Can i ask if you know what you want? 

  • in reply to Ava

    No, I don't know what I want.

  • in reply to NAS39135

    Hi  . That’s the thing that kills us the most, isn’t it? Not knowing what we want. We would probably know but circumstance after circumstance since day 1 ended up affecting us there and with motivation, impulsivity, obsessive thinking… In the end, it all feels so messy, so unclear and so confusing! No wonder anxiety is our most loyal and unwanted companion among other unwanted ones.

    Anyways, there is one comment made by  that left me thinking. Working with horses makes so much sense! I can see how that has to have a therapeutic effect 200 times better than any ******g medication. Haven’t found one yet that helps instead of making me feel worse. I wonder where or how it would be possible to work with horses. Maybe we should look into it. I used to work with dogs several years ago and although it didn’t work out (what has?) I felt a huge connection with them. We enjoyed each other’s presence so much. I have never found a better being than them but I know this is extensive to many other animals. 

  • in reply to January22.

    Well, what can I say? Thanks for your message first of all. I found what you said absolutely fascinating. Yes, it seems one of those professions (equine therapy but probably arts therapy too) that are very specific — USA seems the part of the world where the best ones are located, right? You probably start helping out just like you do and find your way up little by little. Dog training used to be a bit like that when I was part of it 15 years ago. I don’t know how it may be nowadays. All I can say is for me and many more in this community that kind of environment next to horses is extremely positive. Unfortunately, there isn’t a great number of places where to find them as they are expensive to maintain and require lots of room. Something to think about but challenging at the same time. Thanks again  

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  • in reply to January22.

    Well, what can I say? Thanks for your message first of all. I found what you said absolutely fascinating. Yes, it seems one of those professions (equine therapy but probably arts therapy too) that are very specific — USA seems the part of the world where the best ones are located, right? You probably start helping out just like you do and find your way up little by little. Dog training used to be a bit like that when I was part of it 15 years ago. I don’t know how it may be nowadays. All I can say is for me and many more in this community that kind of environment next to horses is extremely positive. Unfortunately, there isn’t a great number of places where to find them as they are expensive to maintain and require lots of room. Something to think about but challenging at the same time. Thanks again  

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