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I Don't Know What To Do Anymore

NAS39135

Hello everyone, 

I m really struggling, and have been for months but just tried to press on, fake smiling and trying to interact with people when I wasn't 100%. 

I thought being diagnosed would help, but it hasn't at all. I was late diagnosed at 27 in 2017 and still going nowhere. I have no references for work or volunteering. I can't socialise without being embarrassed for just simply talking to someone. I feel lost and empty. I've had a lot of pain and grief in my life and I don't think I'll ever get over that. I've been in and out of therapy for years since my teens. 

There's just no signpost anymore. I have nothing I want to achieve in the future because my chances were screwed from when I was born when date decided to put me in the hands of incapable caregivers who were emotionally elsewhere. 

I don't know what to do anymore Pensive

Parents

  • Hi

    I am 74 and highly functional, but spent my life trying to learn all the rules to social interaction.and only discovered my neurodiversity 3 years ago.  Always believed I was unloveable.  30 years of therapy and I had fooled everyone.  My only respite has been working with animals.  Horses since I was 5, then milking cows, and in the past 5 years, I found support and relief at a therapeutic horse farm, and through art therapy.  No riding involved, but horses are sensitive and speak my language.

    Reach out and give it a try!

    Best Wishes,

    Jsnuary22.

  • in reply to January22.

    Hi  

    I'm sorry to hear you always thought you were unlovable, that's tough.

    It's good to hear you have found solace with horses.

    I used to help out a riding school when I was younger and I loved it.

    Horses are such beautiful creatures, and they are definitely therapeutic.

    This has given me something to think about.

  • in reply to Lonehare12

    Hi Lonehare12,

    thanks for responding.  Discovering my neurodiversity cleared up a lot of confusion I experienced growing up.  Glad you know about horses.

    I am curious about what you are thinking about.

    January22

  • in reply to January22.

    Yeah life was confusing for me too when I was younger and it still is, to some degree. I think being with animals is less complicated.

    I was thinking maybe I could find somewhere I could be close to horses. Maybe in a volunteer role or something.

    I did look into a few months ago briefly., but not really that seriously.

    Thank you for giving me a nudge in the right direction.

    (⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠)

Reply
  • in reply to January22.

    Yeah life was confusing for me too when I was younger and it still is, to some degree. I think being with animals is less complicated.

    I was thinking maybe I could find somewhere I could be close to horses. Maybe in a volunteer role or something.

    I did look into a few months ago briefly., but not really that seriously.

    Thank you for giving me a nudge in the right direction.

    (⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠)

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