• Replies 19 replies
  • Subscribers 86 subscribers
  • Views 661 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

I don't know what to do

Alien0n3arth

My daughter has been assessed by psychologist and the result of that is - she has no autism, but she needs emotional support because of my emotional deficits. Before her assesment there was another psychologist in the kindergarten and also pointed my daughter. She has no autism, she is NT. I'm happy about it. I got a question from her assessor if I have my autism diagnosis. I shared with the teacher in the kindergarten,  that I have suspected autism.  She said she suspected that too and promised me, they would help, as it's also for my daughter's wellbeing. I'm a caring parent and they said I'm a good mother, but my flat affect and being so deeply closed in my own world affects my daughter too. I agree. My problem is: there is another family, whose child has suspected autism (former Asperger Syndrom) and my daughter's teacher told them, there is an adult parent with the suspected condition. The family wants to meet and hear my story. I'm fine with showing them pictures, old photos and telling them how it was for me, but I'm not sure if I should. I would skip the most dramatic trauma I experienced in my early twenties,  but still my story and my experience could do more damage than good. I went unsupported,  I don't know if they wouldn't panic if I tell them how I had my meltdowns and how I finally won the battle with them, how I was bullied etc. They say they wanna hear it and the teacher says, I would help. I'm not sure. I'm worried they would get some more fears over things that didn't happen yet. Maybe it would help them prepare, maybe cause a panic. I don't know. The teacher told me they are collecting such stories. I emphasised that in my case its only a suspected diagnosis. It may be something else, although my therapist is very much convinced all the time that i reveal more and more symptoms of undiagnosed autism.

Would anyone like to advice,  what would you do in such a situation? Is it good to tell my story some family with a (probably) Autistic child?

I would be grateful.

We are not in UK, but in EU, if it matters.

Parents

  • Thank you all for your responses.

    I spoke to the lady, I shared with her my story. She thanked me and said I'm helping her. But now it's kind of uncomfortable for me... I just realised I made a huge overshare to a stranger. And I gave her some examples of my social awkwardness,  once she giggled a bit... yeah for an NT to hear such thing must be a total shock. I skipped all tge awful traumas from my childhood and adulthood but concentrated on school bullying and my huge lack of social skills, I structured it as causes, event - what happened and possible coping strategy that I found (I told her I can't say if it's best one, but it was best one fir me at that time). I lent her a book about Autism, there is one man's biography and comments from a psychologist to it. This man's biography is not same as mine, but his experience is so similar, that it made me cry and I couldn't read it more.

    The lady asked me, why I as a child preferred talking to adults. I told her I could find more interesting topics with them, find out something new and scientific or share my intrest with them without a risk of being bullied. I also liked listening to them because they don't do mess as terrible as kids and don't bully a child. If I listen to a story, I see it like a movie. I shared with her a lot of what I analysed and I hope it will help her understand and support her son. Unfortunately tge waiting times are long and tge child may not get diagnosed before going to school. 

    I'm kind of worried about that child as if he was mine... I would like to do everything to save him the stress and trauma that I experienced but I'm aldo worried that his mom didn't understand me well and it will go wrong. She is in touch with psychologist though. 

  • in reply to Alien0n3arth

    Hello, don't worry about it. They will take from your story what they want to. They will have more than one source of information and can form their own ideas. You are not responsible. You have done what you can. They won't have understood it all, but that is to be expected.

    You probably gave them more information than they can remember or absorb. So although it might have been oversharing it is probably ok.

Reply
  • in reply to Alien0n3arth

    Hello, don't worry about it. They will take from your story what they want to. They will have more than one source of information and can form their own ideas. You are not responsible. You have done what you can. They won't have understood it all, but that is to be expected.

    You probably gave them more information than they can remember or absorb. So although it might have been oversharing it is probably ok.

Children