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I don't know what to do

Alien0n3arth

My daughter has been assessed by psychologist and the result of that is - she has no autism, but she needs emotional support because of my emotional deficits. Before her assesment there was another psychologist in the kindergarten and also pointed my daughter. She has no autism, she is NT. I'm happy about it. I got a question from her assessor if I have my autism diagnosis. I shared with the teacher in the kindergarten,  that I have suspected autism.  She said she suspected that too and promised me, they would help, as it's also for my daughter's wellbeing. I'm a caring parent and they said I'm a good mother, but my flat affect and being so deeply closed in my own world affects my daughter too. I agree. My problem is: there is another family, whose child has suspected autism (former Asperger Syndrom) and my daughter's teacher told them, there is an adult parent with the suspected condition. The family wants to meet and hear my story. I'm fine with showing them pictures, old photos and telling them how it was for me, but I'm not sure if I should. I would skip the most dramatic trauma I experienced in my early twenties,  but still my story and my experience could do more damage than good. I went unsupported,  I don't know if they wouldn't panic if I tell them how I had my meltdowns and how I finally won the battle with them, how I was bullied etc. They say they wanna hear it and the teacher says, I would help. I'm not sure. I'm worried they would get some more fears over things that didn't happen yet. Maybe it would help them prepare, maybe cause a panic. I don't know. The teacher told me they are collecting such stories. I emphasised that in my case its only a suspected diagnosis. It may be something else, although my therapist is very much convinced all the time that i reveal more and more symptoms of undiagnosed autism.

Would anyone like to advice,  what would you do in such a situation? Is it good to tell my story some family with a (probably) Autistic child?

I would be grateful.

We are not in UK, but in EU, if it matters.

Parents

  • First of all I am not wanting to cause any confusion here and you don’t at all have to follow my advice. But according to my mum, when I was little I had numerous tests for autism and they all came back negative but had suspected I could be on the spectrum. This went on for years but I didn’t have enough “evidence” to prove I was autistic until my diagnosis months back. But I had got bullied in all the nurseries and schools I went to and didn’t have any friends and I often think could this have been from autism? Or it could have been because I just don’t fit in with the typical Gen Z people. I often wonder would things have been better if I got diagnosed sooner? But if I did and I had the requirements, then would I have got bullied all the more for being even more different? 

    Skip to my recent years when I just had the courage to work, I explained all my issues and in return I ended up getting bullied to an extent that I cried and so the manager had the excuse to hug and kiss me, then before I quit I actually got locked upstairs and had to have my phone locked in a locker downstairs so I couldn’t contact anyone and well got the hugging, kissing and was even shown content I found disturbing, especially with that manager as he scared me and creeped me out. Now I am suffering CPTSD, EUPD and BDD but I often wonder if I wasn’t autistic then would I have the other diagnosis? 

    I guess my point is you may want to keep a check on your daughter. Have any of the assessors said she could possibly be on the spectrum? Sometimes autism doesn’t seem to show until later on in life. I’m not saying your daughter is autistic at all, but I would advise you maybe keep a check. We can’t get rid of autism but my advice is to be careful and not to get taken advantage of. Best to prevent anything bad if possible.

    I think meeting with this family might be a good idea, I mean it’s entirely up to you but it might be helpful to talk about it, see if anything relates. Guess it’s kind of like being on here but it’s face to face. My mum would have been grateful for this opportunity when I was your daughter’s age. But it’s entirely up to you. Sorry if this isn’t really related to what you wanted to hear xx 

Reply

  • First of all I am not wanting to cause any confusion here and you don’t at all have to follow my advice. But according to my mum, when I was little I had numerous tests for autism and they all came back negative but had suspected I could be on the spectrum. This went on for years but I didn’t have enough “evidence” to prove I was autistic until my diagnosis months back. But I had got bullied in all the nurseries and schools I went to and didn’t have any friends and I often think could this have been from autism? Or it could have been because I just don’t fit in with the typical Gen Z people. I often wonder would things have been better if I got diagnosed sooner? But if I did and I had the requirements, then would I have got bullied all the more for being even more different? 

    Skip to my recent years when I just had the courage to work, I explained all my issues and in return I ended up getting bullied to an extent that I cried and so the manager had the excuse to hug and kiss me, then before I quit I actually got locked upstairs and had to have my phone locked in a locker downstairs so I couldn’t contact anyone and well got the hugging, kissing and was even shown content I found disturbing, especially with that manager as he scared me and creeped me out. Now I am suffering CPTSD, EUPD and BDD but I often wonder if I wasn’t autistic then would I have the other diagnosis? 

    I guess my point is you may want to keep a check on your daughter. Have any of the assessors said she could possibly be on the spectrum? Sometimes autism doesn’t seem to show until later on in life. I’m not saying your daughter is autistic at all, but I would advise you maybe keep a check. We can’t get rid of autism but my advice is to be careful and not to get taken advantage of. Best to prevent anything bad if possible.

    I think meeting with this family might be a good idea, I mean it’s entirely up to you but it might be helpful to talk about it, see if anything relates. Guess it’s kind of like being on here but it’s face to face. My mum would have been grateful for this opportunity when I was your daughter’s age. But it’s entirely up to you. Sorry if this isn’t really related to what you wanted to hear xx 

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