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I don't know what to do

Alien0n3arth

My daughter has been assessed by psychologist and the result of that is - she has no autism, but she needs emotional support because of my emotional deficits. Before her assesment there was another psychologist in the kindergarten and also pointed my daughter. She has no autism, she is NT. I'm happy about it. I got a question from her assessor if I have my autism diagnosis. I shared with the teacher in the kindergarten,  that I have suspected autism.  She said she suspected that too and promised me, they would help, as it's also for my daughter's wellbeing. I'm a caring parent and they said I'm a good mother, but my flat affect and being so deeply closed in my own world affects my daughter too. I agree. My problem is: there is another family, whose child has suspected autism (former Asperger Syndrom) and my daughter's teacher told them, there is an adult parent with the suspected condition. The family wants to meet and hear my story. I'm fine with showing them pictures, old photos and telling them how it was for me, but I'm not sure if I should. I would skip the most dramatic trauma I experienced in my early twenties,  but still my story and my experience could do more damage than good. I went unsupported,  I don't know if they wouldn't panic if I tell them how I had my meltdowns and how I finally won the battle with them, how I was bullied etc. They say they wanna hear it and the teacher says, I would help. I'm not sure. I'm worried they would get some more fears over things that didn't happen yet. Maybe it would help them prepare, maybe cause a panic. I don't know. The teacher told me they are collecting such stories. I emphasised that in my case its only a suspected diagnosis. It may be something else, although my therapist is very much convinced all the time that i reveal more and more symptoms of undiagnosed autism.

Would anyone like to advice,  what would you do in such a situation? Is it good to tell my story some family with a (probably) Autistic child?

I would be grateful.

We are not in UK, but in EU, if it matters.

Parents

  • I think it's dependent on whether you feel comfortable with it. If you did decide to do it then you should sit down first and decide what you are and aren't comfortable with - it's your story, you only have to share what you want. If/when you start the conversation, I would start by saying that some of your story is very negative and give them the option as to whether they want to hear that. I don't think you need to go into great depth about the negatives. You can just say that being socially different led to a lot of bullying. You don't need to go into detail about that bullying. If there is anything that would have helped you with the negatives, this would be useful to tell them. That gives them something they can do for their child. If you have positives in your story then I would share these too. This very much comes down to how you feel about it though. The other family have requested it. It's not on you if they don't like what they hear. But if it's going to have a negative effect on you then I'd avoid doing it.

  • in reply to Expecto_Patronum

    Some Details of my bullying story might be relevant for them - my total lack of assertiveness led to me being abused and laughed at at school. It's important for them to pay attention to this aspect of development.  Being bullied may have various reasons- it may be different appearance, in this case its about specific behaviour, my appearance alone would not be a reason for bullying.

  • in reply to Alien0n3arth

    This is where I would put your focus in the things you tell them. They don't need the details of the bullying, how bad or hard it was, even though that's totally valid for you, it may be upsetting for them. But advice on the signs they can look out for and support they can give their child to try to avoid them going through that could be really helpful to them.

  • in reply to Expecto_Patronum

    Yes, how it felt I will skip, but giving some specific situations and reasons why ut happened may be helpful

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