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I don't know what to do

Alien0n3arth

My daughter has been assessed by psychologist and the result of that is - she has no autism, but she needs emotional support because of my emotional deficits. Before her assesment there was another psychologist in the kindergarten and also pointed my daughter. She has no autism, she is NT. I'm happy about it. I got a question from her assessor if I have my autism diagnosis. I shared with the teacher in the kindergarten,  that I have suspected autism.  She said she suspected that too and promised me, they would help, as it's also for my daughter's wellbeing. I'm a caring parent and they said I'm a good mother, but my flat affect and being so deeply closed in my own world affects my daughter too. I agree. My problem is: there is another family, whose child has suspected autism (former Asperger Syndrom) and my daughter's teacher told them, there is an adult parent with the suspected condition. The family wants to meet and hear my story. I'm fine with showing them pictures, old photos and telling them how it was for me, but I'm not sure if I should. I would skip the most dramatic trauma I experienced in my early twenties,  but still my story and my experience could do more damage than good. I went unsupported,  I don't know if they wouldn't panic if I tell them how I had my meltdowns and how I finally won the battle with them, how I was bullied etc. They say they wanna hear it and the teacher says, I would help. I'm not sure. I'm worried they would get some more fears over things that didn't happen yet. Maybe it would help them prepare, maybe cause a panic. I don't know. The teacher told me they are collecting such stories. I emphasised that in my case its only a suspected diagnosis. It may be something else, although my therapist is very much convinced all the time that i reveal more and more symptoms of undiagnosed autism.

Would anyone like to advice,  what would you do in such a situation? Is it good to tell my story some family with a (probably) Autistic child?

I would be grateful.

We are not in UK, but in EU, if it matters.

Parents
  • Alien0n3arth said:
    The family wants to meet and hear my story. I'm fine with showing them pictures, old photos and telling them how it was for me, but I'm not sure if I should.

    If they are asking for your experiences then try to work out what these actually are. Write them down - maybe make categories or headlines that group them and make it easier to focus your thoughts. These should all be based around your ND traits.

    Write down what it was about, how you felt about it (keep this bit very brief), how you worked outt how to deal with it and how it affects you now.

    By having these pointers to reflect back on it will help you through what can be a difficult conversation to have.

    Personally I would keep the focus on how you adapted, how you coped better and steer away from the misery it caused. People want to hear about hope and success so while you may feel you need to be validated for what you went through, it won't help the people and that is the reason you are there.

    Tell them the resources you use, the techniques that have given good results and how you have come to be well enough to offer advice to others.

    This would be my take - you have a lot to offer them and by not dwelling on the darkness can give them more hope for their own childs situation.

  • in reply to Iain

    Thank you, your answer is very helpful. I have pictures that I use to explain things to my therapist.  They are also in form of schemes and kind of comics (pictures with dialogues) so I don't really need any list of bullet points,  I would go with these pictures. If they don't understand,  I would provide more explanation and details.

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  • in reply to Iain

    Thank you, your answer is very helpful. I have pictures that I use to explain things to my therapist.  They are also in form of schemes and kind of comics (pictures with dialogues) so I don't really need any list of bullet points,  I would go with these pictures. If they don't understand,  I would provide more explanation and details.

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