I am a 26 year old girl living at home with both parents and my younger brother (24) who has Asperger’s Syndrome. He is extremely high functioning, having a job, studying at college and volunteering. He has a group of friends and is well liked. However at home it is a different story. He is extremely on edge, ready to shout, swear, slam doors at every given opportunity. He gets overstimulated and is really affected by television noises, washing dishes, dogs barking etc. He says really inappropriate things. However he tries his best to mask and deny his autism.
My parents, especially my dad, have a really hard time learning how to cope with his emotions. I have tried to teach them to put ego, and pride aside and accept that when he is angry and inappropriate like this, it isn’t his personal. My dad really struggles to understand that, and he thinks he is just being nasty. I can see why he thinks like this as a lot of the time my brother’s attacks are very personal, and he will say the worst thing he can to get a reaction out of you. The divide between my whole family is growing and is becoming very intense. I need to move out and I am saving up to do this as I need to look after my own mental health. However I worry when I do this, I am leaving my brother in a house that struggles to speak to him effectively and doesn’t know how to diffuse a situation of overstimulation.
I wanted to put this message in the forum because a lot of the discussion I see from siblings/families of autistic people is those who are accepting of their diagnosis, but also not high-functioning. Most of the issue with helping my brother is that he is brilliant at masking and he can appear to most as a neurotypical, but this is different behind the scenes. I wondered if there was anyone else who has gone through a similar situation?