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Black and white, or shades of grey thinking

TheCatWoman

I see many people here talk of black and white thinking and that it's a very ND thing. I rarely think in black and white and nearly always in shades of grey, for me everyhthing is about context and nuance. Often I find black and white thinking like being slapped in the face by a wet fish, it's such a shock, it's also not something I particularly associate with ND but with with mostly male NT's.

It's something I find quite alienating, something that marks me out as different to both other ND's and NT's. It's not that I can't be analytical or decisive, although to some it may seem so, usually when I disagree with them and it's a case of refusing to take their stance, or be bounced into something I'm unsure of. Although I do tend to let things happen organically, the right thing comes at the right time without interfearance from me.

Are you all black and white, or are you grey?

What's your experience of being asked to think in the opposite way?

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  • I think it depends on context. When viewing opposing arguments about, for example, a historical situation, I can see both sides and feel no compunction to espouse one view to the exclusion of the other. I can see shades of grey in many facets of life, political, economic, societal etc. However, in regard to my personal ethics, if someone were to transgress against them in an extreme way they would be forever damned in my eyes. So it seems that on moral questions my thinking is very black and white.

  • in reply to Martin

    I think I'm more like you Martin, if someone transgresses my personal ethics and principles then they're dammed, I just can't bring myself to speak to them again and I certainly wouldn't trust them again even if I did have to speak to them.

    I often find that I'm expected to have an opinion or take a stand on something when I don't feel I have enough information and then I get into arguments about being indesicive, it's not indesicion, it's lack of information, I've had people tell me I dont' need more information as it's a simple choice. That is something I really don't understand, or rather I understand it's intellectual tyrany.

    I rarely plan ahead and certainly not where other people are involved, I've invested way to much energy to believe things will happen and not get changed at the last moment when something "more interesting " comes along. Obviously things like medical appointments and stuff are different.

    If there isn't a rule for something, then it means I can go ahead and do what I feel is right and often the rules that are there get in the way or make no sense.

    I also feel no shame for having my confusion on display and I don't know why one would, but then I have no predisposition towards being omnipotent.

    Seems like I'm an oulier then, I've often wondered why I don't feel I fit in here too well, so I guess this is a big part of the reason.

    What wold it feel like for you guys to embrace the grey and live in it? I've tried to live in your black and white world and it nearly killed me, I mean literally nearly killed me and I only just escaped with my sanity and I still brea the scars some physical but mostly emotional.

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    I have had similar experiences when someone is upset, I want lots of information about the problem so that I can give relevant advice. This seems an eminently sensible approach to me. However, people have occasionally said they just want comforting. I'm just not good at 'there-there' type comforting. I cannot say that all will be well, if I do not know the circumstances.

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  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    I have had similar experiences when someone is upset, I want lots of information about the problem so that I can give relevant advice. This seems an eminently sensible approach to me. However, people have occasionally said they just want comforting. I'm just not good at 'there-there' type comforting. I cannot say that all will be well, if I do not know the circumstances.

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