Looking for a job

This is mainly a rant about my job searching situation and a bit of background.

I've been looking for a stable job for a few years now, since graduating from uni, but it's such a struggle. I managed to work as a barista for a few months and my confidence improved a lot, but I just couldn't communicate that well with others, and I still can't. I basically got fired from the job but the manager said that it was a 'temporary' job and that it was in my contract even though it was blank. I should have really asked about it at the time but I didn't think it was that important. I was kind of sad from it but also a bit relieved because I hated most customers lol.

I got another job after that as a technician on a casual contract at a theatre, as I thought I wanted to work in the music industry. However, I only ever worked one shift in a year and I hated it. As a short, skinny girl in her early 20's I wasn't really built for it lol.

Anyway, I decided it wasn't for me and I did a short office admin course, because I like making schedules and to-do lists, and thought a career in admin might suit me well. Turns out you have to have experience working as an admin assistant and you have to have 'excellent communication skills', yay (sarcastic). I'm not even sure if I would enjoy it, but I'm sick of not having a stable job. I'm worried about my future and I need to get out of the house.

In an ideal world, I'd love to have a stable, remote job where I can travel the world and learn different languages in my spare time, while feeling comfortable enough to live on my own. When I look anything up about this, it says about being a freelancer but I don't really want a heavily creative job, or it says about going into education, but I feel like I've been in education enough and now I'm just ready to be stable. 

I also worry about not being able to do the job properly and misunderstanding what I'm supposed to do, as I have made many mistakes in my previous jobs. 

I'd love to hear about other people's experience with looking for a job or some advice.

Parents
  • Still in the job seekers boat myself and not quite feeling a reasonable level of motivation to do any job that I can picture myself doing currently. There may well be something out there I could feel comfortable doing and perhaps even enjoy if it was mostly solitary with as little human interaction as possible. I also worry about making mistakes because I judge myself harshly and expect perfection, there’s little room in my ego for any errors I make myself and that train of thought applies to everything I wish to feel proud of or at the very least competent at. My background is office work but I’ve had my fill of that, did almost 20 years of it and it has very little variation, you end up feeling like the living dead with every day pretty much exactly the same. 

  • I feel like there's always a bad feeling on both sides. You feel miserable if you don't have a job but you also feel miserable if you do have a job. I guess it just depends if you can find the perfect job for you, which seems impossible. 

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