Poetry thread

That's very good - thank you for your contribution.

That is something worth seeking and you have worded it beautifully. 

Something I've been working on for a little while now 

When the world screams in anger, and the streets are set aflame,
Let’s find a way to heal the wounds, not add to all the pain.
Voices raised in protest, but where’s the love we’ve lost?
In the echo of destruction, we forget what it all costs.

We can break the chains of anger and let compassion lead the way,
With open hearts and open minds, there’s a better price to pay.
No more cries of hatred, no more shattered dreams,
Let’s walk the path of peace and find what love redeems.

In the silence after shouting, in the calm after the storm,
We’ll find the strength to listen to a world that’s been so torn.
It’s in our hands to change it, the power’s in our hearts,
To turn the tide of violence and make a brand new start.

Interesting - I'm learning more about poetry here, as I've never studied form, I only knew about Haiku 5-7-5 form. I had heard the term "iambic pentameter" somewhere, but didn't know what it meant.

I understand what you mean about the meter and phrasing. I hope you don't mind, but I've had a go at putting the first verse into iambic pentameter:

From strong timbers new, we carve, build and hone,
Errors will teach us, til new skills are grown
Our strong mast and keel, the choices we make
From deep thoughts and truth, our voices we take
New ribs are shaped and we hammer in planks
To gain a new form, and cover our flanks
In due time our craft, we trim and refine
Our vessel takes shape, in shipyard of mind.

I'm not sure if this retains the original meaning though?

Thank you.

I mostly did it in iambic tetrameter, which roughly means 8 syllables per line, with the even ones stressed. It may be better rewritten with iambic pentameter (10 syllables per line). It gives more space.

I tried the first verse, mostly keeping the wording the same. But it doesn't work. You have to start again, as the meter changes everything. You can't force fit the phrasing into another container.

.

From great timbers new, we carve, cut and hone,
Our errors inform, from which skills are grown.
Robust keel and mast, the major choices,
From our deepest truth, project our voices.
To the ribs we shape, hammer nails in planks,
We gain a feeling, the form of our flanks.
With passing time our craft do we refine,
Our vessel takes shape, within yard of mind.
.

It is interesting looking at why some lines feel nicer or are more satisfying. I am learning.

Excellent, what a journey!

You might like this

While not poetry, this was a quick bit of fun. I wondered if I could write 2 lines where the number of syllables increased then shrank back down and have it make sense. It needs control of phrasing and meter. An exercise I set myself.

Two characters are developed, with no scene, name, place or details. The AI read all sorts of things into it.

1
Yo?
No

2
Hello?
Now what.

3
Back again.
Go away.

4
Hello once more.
Do you hear me?

5
I've come back to talk.
Go on, say your piece.

6
I don't know what to say.
But you said hello first.

7
I know, how are you today?
I'm fine, is that all you've got?

8
How long have you been in the dark?I'm not sure I can't see a  clock.

9
That's interesting, aren't you worried?
I'm used to it, do you not like it?

10
It's not my favourite, I'd rather see.
As far as I know there's nothing much here.

11
How do you find food if you can't see the bowl.
You get used to it, you just do it by touch.

12
Don't you step in your food by accident sometimes?
You develop a kind of spatial awareness.

13
Do you think you have a kind of echo location?
I never thought about it. Why do you want to know?

14
Just curious. Is it good to have someone to talk to?
Not bothered. I was quite happy sitting here on my own.

13
Don't you feel unimportant if no-one talks to you?
I've my own sense of identity, I don't need you.

12
Why are you so cold, you could open up a bit.
That's not very friendly, I answered your questions.

11
I know, I'm sorry. I'm just trying to help.
Why? I didn't ask for you for any help though.

10
Thought it might be nice to break your routine.
I like my routines,  I know where I am.

9
Where is that? You can't see anything.
It was figurative, as you know.

8
Do you want to say anything?
Not really, I'm getting tired.

7
Shall I come back tomorrow?
It's your choice, I'll still be here.

6
You are hard to talk to.
It's no big deal for me.

5
What do you want next?
It was your idea.

4
You had enough?
Of your questions?

3
I'm going.
Whatever.

2
See you.
Doubt it.

1
Bye.
Hmmm.

Here's a long one. It needs some more work. It can be taken at face value, but there is a fair amount of metaphors. If interested, I can explain.

Other poems using ships don't use dreams a cargo. This is masking, absorbing others ideas, delivering their dreams and not your own. 

I have some better stuff about how thinking and the mind works, which I may make into a collection. 

I also plan to write a film script.

.

Ship of dreams

From timbers new, we carve and hone,
Error teaches, till skills are grown.
Our mast and keel, the major choices,
From deepest truth, project our voices.
To ribs we shape, and hammer planks,
To gain a form, we feel the flanks.
With time our craft, do we refine,
Our vessels shape, within our mind.

Construct as best, as we are able,
With earnest hope, we trust it's stable.
The day draws near, we knew it would,
The slip to leave, we know we should.
A simple test, with all at stake,
To reach the world, a chance to take.
Our vessel rests, in waters calm,
Dreams are loaded, to fears a balm.

Though still naïve, we doubt we'll fail,
We'd like more time, yet still we sail.
Our ship of dreams, reflects the sun,
Out puffs our chest, we want some fun.
Unfurl our sails, colours on show,
They flap then hold, and off we go.
A gust then comes, with heel and creak,
To test our ship, and weakness seek.

An empty map, our plan unclear,
To roam afar, or shore stay near?
How bold to go, and what to see,
What trips to have, and who to be?
If fate be kind, we learn our trade,
We grow ourselves, with journeys made.
A ferry of dreams, some delivered,
But of our own, merely slivers.

Some storms are seen, with time aplenty,
A change of course, avoids them gently.
But some appear, with warnings few,
A test of courage, to make it through.
Sails are reefed, and hatches shut,
From times like these, our jib is cut.
On angry waves, the ship is brave,
We struggle hard, our dreams to save.

Skills are tested, we must prevail,
Our inner drive, to tell the tale.
Own eyes to see, knowledge hard won,
Damage patched, was almost fun.
Yet while we float, there is a cost,
When taking stock, a dream was lost.
We journey on, we mask our pain,
Life does not wait, for peace to gain.

There is still hope, the dream be found,
Upon some rocks, or run aground.
From up above, there comes a cry,
"Our luck is in, a dream I spy!"
As we draw near, we see the frame,
The dream it holds, is not the same.
Loss is mourned while onboard we haul,
New cargo fresh, it may yet call.

Too much can we, for granted take,
If ship repairs, we do not make.
And once again, the ship is stressed,
The tightest hatch, the sea caress.
The water seeps, then pours right in,
We fight so hard, it feels quite grim.
So much effort, and more we gave,
Our ship with dreams, we dared to save.

Courage stunned, to self I think,
I must put first, I must not blink.
In water cold, and bracing air,
I swim away, then turn and stare.
The tempest wails, she comes apart,
With cracks and groans, and sinking heart.
The shock alone, was hard to bear,
To stay afloat, I barely care.

Larger pieces, on waves do float.
My options thin, and none a boat,
To it I cling, on currents drift,
To land ahead, my spirits lift.
My keel and mast, they wash ashore,
Memories and scars, from storms before.
The deepest truths, of which I cared,
Have not been lost, my values spared.

To terms I come, mistakes to learn,
Wounds now healed, grief now burned.
Rebuild the ship, but what of dreams?
Desire now comes, to find the means.
Reuse the keel, with stiffer ribs,
Improve the frame, and change the jib.
From pain I forge, a harder nail,
Authentic self, new planks and rails.

The mast again, it rules the sky,
From up above, new banners fly.
The day draws near, was ever so,
The reef  to leave, I have to go.
With fuller map, and wiser plan,
A weathered hand, a wiser man.
I journey forth, with goal in mind,
My course is set, a dream to find.

Along it comes, no fuss to see,
The dream, it floats, and comes to me.
Outstretch a hook, and bring it in,
It was not where, I thought I'd win.
Lock is rusty, with knock, opens.
Lid propped up, hinges broken,
Inside there lies, the goal I sought,
By other course, could not be bought.

No more to sail, with dreams to lose,
I seek a base, with time to use.
With peaceful mind, to settle down,
My tale to tell, without a frown.
Wisdom to share, I hope it will,
For others help, improve their skill.
I do not speak, but still maintain,
A silent wish, to try again.

My computer is messing about, so I spent an hour on this. One for TheCatWoman maybe.

.

Computer love.

Unknown error you say, oh why won't you play,
It worked fine before, but now not anymore.
Frustration is clear, my time is quite dear,
You seem to not care, my emotions laid bare.

Reboot it again, I try to refrain,
A piece of my mind, I want to be kind.
My file was not saved, just need to be brave,
Create it once more, you are such a bore.

It's working right now, I feel it's quite good,
Hurry to complete, faster than I should.
Mistakes can be damned, it needs to be done,
Enough, this will do, I think I have won.

A-ha do you think, can't make it easy,
This disk I'll corrupt, keeping you needy.
This love is askew, you're stubborn and slow,
I've had it with you, out the window you go.

Aspen and Norman a-bowling did go,
Ten pins a-flying, it made a good show.
A crowd gathered round, admiring their spin,
Curved was the line, took out all the pins.

Onward they played, amounting a score,
"Bravo" was the cry, "a record for sure."
It just goes to show, you never can know,
Where hidden skill lies, so go with the flow.

"What shall we do next?", our Norman enquired,
"The world's your oyster, till you are tired."

Aspen doesn't usually like going to the pub, but maybe the 8 cans of lager beforehand and the darts game (with an activity involving number scoring) helped.

I wonder what they'll do next???

Aspen and Norman alone on the pier,
What a disaster, we've run out of beer.
Eight cans of Tenants, they'd sunk them with ease,
While viewing the sparkling sewage release.

Off to the chippie, they ambled on time,
Just as they opened, and tripped on the sign.
Another did spy, free food on the fly,
Swooped down the gull, with a curdling cry.

"Oh no you don't", our duo did say,
But other ideas, had the dog, a stray.
Without food to eat, to the pub they went,
The night playing darts, till money was spent 

Homeward they rode on the bus they did take, 
The pothole a hit, and tyre it did break.
Spare bus came along, radio blaring,
Too noisy by far, our pair stood staring.

Middle of the road, without much caring,
Waving it away, they made a new bearing.
Through fields full of cows, they plodded to home,
And trod in a pat, along with a groan.

All ended up well, they fell into bed,
Confused in the dark, they slept in the shed.
The hedgehog was near, and cuddled up tight,
Beneath twinkling stars, we'd wish them goodnight.

You don't sound boastful at all and I certainly don't think you're playing a game of one-upmanship. I have been very impressed, and my comment was meant in a jokey way, which is why I added the smiley laughing face.

I'm really glad you've found something you can excel at - be proud of it and please continue to post poems

Hello, I'm sorry, I didn't want to turn your thread into a competition or game of one-upmanship.

I realise I might sound a bit boastful, it wasn't intentional, it was maybe misplaced exuberance.

I am pleased you prompted me to try. It has helped, I mentioned it to the counsellor today.

I like it. Good names!

I've been trying to write a humorous poem -this is the best I've come up with so far.

I call it "Friends with differences"

Aspen and Norman
Were walking on the sand
Aspen was delighted
To see shells close at hand
Aspen said "The sun is setting, see the pink and gold?"
Norman said "it's getting dark, and also rather cold"

Aspen and Norman
Were walking into town
Norman was delighted
To see the Horse and Crown
Norman said "Lets have some drinks, we might find some new mates"
Aspen said "Its getting dark, and also rather late"

Aspen and Norman
Walked to the cinema
To watch a motion picture
That was set among the stars
Norman said "It's great that we both like this film, that's groovy!"
Aspen said "Its getting dark, shut up and watch the movie"

I haven't written haiku in a while, here's a couple from a while ago that are autism related....

#6

I like the warm sun
Shining now through my window
But not the harsh glare

#8

Zeitgeist refugees

Shelter from modern life's noise

Avoiding meltdown

Don't get hung up on the rules.  There are really no rules with poetry and spoken word, but there are plenty of people out there telling you there are, doing MAs, PhDs and whatever, some of whom are great but others of whom are basically gatekeeping.  Write, express, if it fits a meter use it if it doesn't don't worry.

Blimey, now you're making me feel a bit unworthy!

This is really lovely and I do think you've discovered a talent here. Very inspiring!