Poetry thread

Decisions.

.

A question so simple, yet comes by surprise,
I should have foreseen, it show in my eyes,
Pressure is building, I need to decide,
Server is waiting, some words to provide.
I smile and attempt, something to say,
Mouth starts on moving, but needs a delay.
Around my eyes dart, brain is still working,
There must be a hint, where answer is lurking.

They prompt me once more, it can't be that hard,
The menu may help, I look at the card.
People are glancing, a noise starts to come,
"Err..." do I utter, I seem to be done.
Just as they're turning, it pops out for free,
Sound is emerging , " I like to have tea."
Hooray I did it, decision is made,
Oh no, they're looking, I'm feeling afraid.

"Which one would you like?", is next to resolve,
Another hurdle, they seem to evolve.
Downwards I look, a list must there be,
The first one I pick, as soon as I see.
A tick on a pad, and off they now go,
Time now is normal, no longer runs slow.
I must do better, tomorrow for sure,
Avoiding this hassle, a script is the cure.

Reframe

.

Tide has retreated, the wreckage on show,
What was once hidden, now laid out to see,
Pieces all over, but where do they go,
What of the order, to make a new me.

Should I just wait, tide to return,
Pieces to cover, calmness again,
But would be false, nothing to learn,
What lies beneath, playing the game.

So out on the mud, we go to inspect,
The pieces around, no order in sight,
Care is required, our pride to protect,
Feeling quite fragile, we start at first light.

Out of the gloom, history looms,
The good and bad, lie where they lay,
Scooping them up, given new room,
Order to find, with them to play.

Though sharp they may be, we still must handle,
Their true place to lie, in a new fable,
There's pain all around, lit by a candle,
Too brightly to shine, we don't want them able.

Joined all together, admiring the view,
Life reconstructed, though gaps still remain,
While reasons for cheer, they seem all too few,
Feeling quite different, yet also the same.

I just did this in an hour. I was thinking back to June.

.

Diagnosis

.

The time has come, answer to know,
Need to attend, don't want to go.
Wiil it be yes, will it be no?
And what if neither, don't make make it so.

Future has come, finally here,
Long did it feel, now it is near,
Came in a rush, still I must wait.
Can I now learn, what of my fate?

Thanks for coming, please take a seat,
Hope you are well, process to greet.
Perch on the edge, sitting quite prim,
Am I ready, patience quite thin.

Here's the moment, answer's coming,
Time is stretching, guesses running,
Looking for signs, what will it be?
Here it is now, just have to see.

I'm happy to say, what does that mean?
Verdict is clear, know what I've seen.
My judgement, leads me to say,
Criteria met, answer is yay.

Waiting is over, and there it is.
Moment is flat, not any fizz.
Somebody knows, I have been seen.
How should I feel, what does it mean?

A smile appears, then it is gone,
Am I happy, seems to be wrong,
Feelings mixed, brain on the case,
Can't let it show, handle with grace.

Uncertain now, future to face,
Thoughts of the past, where do I place.
Re-frame begins, feels unstable,
How do I now, craft a new fable.

The shortest poem in the world is called Fleas and goes: 'Adam had 'em'  I have a nephew called Adam and I've been enjoying sharing that with him since he was very young. He's now 18 and getting a bit tired of it now I think

Here are the small changes:

A leaf in a forest, falls to the floor,
Asks of its colleagues, "But what was this for?"
Yet silence comes back and leaves it unsure,
If any had heard its plea to know more.
Seeking assurance, it tries once again,
The answer confirmed, with silence the same.

"I feel so confused", it whispers aloud,
But no one looks back; alone in the crowd.
If meaning be sought, "I'll seek it myself,"
For optimum growth, and personal wealth.
"If I hear nothing, assume you agree,"
Deafening assent came back from each tree.

Unable to move, it looks where it lay,
For hours and more, it watches the day.
A squirrel disturbs the neighbours nearby,
A husk of a nut, inert and too dry.
"Hmm... how to proceed?" it asks of the sky,
Wind rustles gently: "Perhaps I can try."

Some others fall near, with nothing to say,
The wind, with a sigh, "Please wait for a day."
The gust comes strongly, leaf rises so high,
Its spirits are lifted, "I know how to fly!"
And then it is over, it drifts to the ground,
'Mongst differing leaves, all scattered around.

"They answer me not!", leaf wails in despair,
"Of what may I learn from here or from there?"
A feeling comes up, it comes from within,
"There's something about you," it says with a grin.
"I don't understand, of what do you speak?"
"A rest you do need, to find what you seek."

Leaf looks up above, then looks all around
It notices now, some changes it's found.
The leaves on the trees, are juicy and fed,
The leaves on the ground, are eaten and dead.
A stiffness they hold and colours grown few,
"Maybe my future behind me lies too."

A week or three passes, with dews and a shower,
The moistness promotes, some plants into flower.
Something is happ'ning, leaf feels it inside,
Roots are appearing, some time it must bide.
Patient yet yearning, a calmness now flows,
Leaf waits and observes, for what now will grow.

A baby plant forms, leaf looks on so proud,
"Why am I different?" it calls out aloud.
Bushy shrub rustles and murmurs to leaf,
"You've special powers, with dampness beneath,
Unlike the others, you make yourself new,
Left free to believe, to do what you do."

Oh yes please, seeing them evolving is also fasciating. The background behind the writing is also really intriguing, as I'm sure everyone has there own styles and methods of writing which is another layer to consider.

Don't worry, it is not nit-picking.

It is best to write quickly. I start from one or two lines that sound good, and build from there. Then when finished, you spend hours or days polishing and rewording bits, to improve flow and imagery.

I have made about a dozen small changes which makes it flow better.

I can post the better one if you're interested.

It seems poems with characters and dialogue are a more effective way to show emotions. It is not something I thought I could write, so I'm pleased it worked.

I love this Stuart333 

Life and death are so intertwined, for all beings. There's something reassuring about there never being an ending, like a permanent full stop. We feed something else and live through that creation.

You have power in your pen...you have moved me to tears...

(⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠

All these poems are making me want to cry (in a good way), very powerful.

Well it brought a tear to my eye, for only two hours work!

(I didn't mean to nit-pik, it was more I thought you'd like to quickly fix it as overall I thought it was lovely. I'm constantly editing posts when I realise I have typos/autocorrect errors, I don't know if others are like that.)

I create them in a draft email on my phone, then paste them here. Reformating it is awkward and it is easy to mess it up on the phone. I have corrected it.

I wrote it in 2 hours last night.

That was really beautiful.

(I think a 'U' has crept in on the squirrel line?)

A leaf in a forest falls to the floor,
Asks of its colleagues, "But what was this for?"
Yet silence comes back and leaves it unsure,
If any had heard, its plea to know more.
Seeking assurance, it tries once again,
The answer confirmed, with silence the same.

"I feel so confused", it whispers aloud,
But no one looks back; alone in the crowd.
If meaning be sought, "I'll seek it myself,"
For optimum growth, and personal wealth.
"If I hear nothing, assume you agree,"
Deafening assent came back from each tree.

Unable to move, it looks where it lay,
For hours and more, it watches the day.
A squirrel disturbs the neighbours nearby,
A husk of a nut, inert and too dry.
"Hmm... how to proceed?" it asks of the sky,
Wind rustles gently: "Perhaps I can try."

Some others fall near, with nothing to say,
The wind, with a sigh, "Please wait for a day."
The gust comes strongly, leaf rises so high,
Its spirits are lifted, "I know how to fly!"
And then it is over, it drifts to the ground,
'Mongst differing leaves, all scattered around.

"They answer me not!", leaf wails in despair,
"Of what may I learn from here or from there?"
A feeling comes up, it comes from within,
"There's something about you," it says with a grin.
"I don't understand, of what do you speak?"
"A rest you do need, to find what you seek."

Leaf looks up above, then looks all around
It notices now, some changes it's found.
The leaves on the trees, are juicy and fed,
The leaves on the ground, are eaten and dead.
Colours are diff'rent, a stiffness change too,
"Maybe my future behind me lies too."

A week or three passes, with dews and a shower,
The moistness promotes, some plants into flower.
Something is happ'ning, leaf feels it inside,
Roots are appearing, some time it need bide.
Patient yet yearning, a calmness now flows,
Leaf waits and observes, of what now will grow.

A baby plant forms, leaf looks on so proud,
"Why am I different?" it calls out aloud.
Bushy shrub rustles and murmurs to leaf,
"You've special powers, with dampness beneath.
Unlike the others, you make yourself new,
Left free to believe and show what you do."

(Edited to change wording so it reads better. Not sure it's 100% though.)

I love writing poems too, personally I have written many of just thought up of many in general. so here is some new poetry that I made, constructive criticism welcome!

----

Inner Critic:

Sometimes my mind is so loud, never shutting up

or looking down, It spoke, 

I cried, tried to shut it down,

But it was in my head, oh! It wanted to speak,

It never ran down, and it told me things,

It told me to stop, 

To think,

Better not cry,

Guess today is another day.

I remember the day it got too loud, 

I wheeze and sobbed,

Getting the rope untied from my small fingers, 

Running away too hard,

I tripped and fell in weeds, thought I was sane,

soon I felt better, even for a sencond,

don't think too loud, or you'll cry,

Maybe it's all in my head, 

Doesn't everyone have this critic?

Oh, the drowning got so bad,

Yet the critic suddenly had pity,

Cried right beside me, didn't ever spoke,

Maybe I was too harsh on myself,

A body is hard to take care of when your me,

And maybe she won't be so loud on a child,

As the critic tried to love,

Myself.

Why, thank you. I really appreciate that 

Thank you, that's very kind of you to say. 

Thank you for sharing this. 

I know poems mean different things to different people.

I see the civil unrest over immigration and the protests.

Mac78321 said:

It’s in our hands to change it, the power’s in our hearts,

This line resonates.(⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠

Very true 

Very timely.

(⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠)

Forum

A forum to seek, a forum to speak.
A place to see, a place to be.
Text to seed, text to read.
To need, to heed.
Word, heard.

A disparate group, a mixed event,
A welcoming mat, an opened tent.
Challenge aplenty, people are spiky,
Harmony always, not very likely.

A simple rule, try to be kind,
Should be easy, open your mind.
Assume the best, don't get too bent,
How some will read, not how it's sent.

It's all too easy, to misread intent,
A lack of context, who knows what is meant.
There is a reason, diagnosed are some,
Communications, problems not none.

This is the point; each word added, changed or moved changes the flow, feel and meaning. You basically start with a key phrase like, e.g "I wandered lonely as a cloud", decide on the meter and build from there.

Note that I wrote in couplets, this is where you have pairs of lines with the last word rhyming. The challenge is to make it feel natural and not forced. This is AAAA.

You can do every other line, so ABAB, which is common.

Others are possible to, ABCABC. You can play.

There is also free format, where there is no rhyming. I struggle with this. I haven't yet seen the rules/pattern, probably because there isn't one. You are relying on word feel or phrasing to carry it.

Shakespeare uses iambic pentameter in Romeo and Juliet apparently.

If you listen to some song lyrics, the most pleasing ones are like poetry. The words need rhythm, feel and meaning.

If you can get emotion in there, along with metaphor, create a visual image, and make it flow and sound pleasant, plus say something that resonates, you have it. You also want to avoid clichés and corny phrases.