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Do you ever feel incomplete for general society?

Autismman

Recently after leaving my job and being out of employment for a few months now I’ve started to feel a lot more unprepared for society. While in the original role I suppose I built my free time up around it so didn’t need to question too much: it was routine. For a long time life was quite easy going in the field of demands and expectations but now I’m required to attend the job centre and other related places and try to pretend I am all set and prepared for meeting new people, going to possible new work places along with faking enthusiasm for the roles I’m interviewed for. It’s like having to detach yourself from the comfort of your own being and become someone else just to “fit in”. I have a sense of disliking being told what to do also, not liking being controlled in some way. I also don’t like having to sell myself to the interviewer, it’s like saying “hire me hire me, I am better than the next person!” Why must I practically grovel. Perhaps my points of view come across as immature or perhaps spoilt in some way. 

Parents

  • No, I don't think so, the whole jobcentre experience is deliberatley demeaning and meant to make you feel like you must be grateful in a nasty way.

    Are you getting interviews for jobs you actually want to do or are you just fulfilling your part of the contract by applying for a certain number of jobs a week.

    I don't know how I'd cope with it, probably pretty badly, but then, I was either self employed or working in a co-operative. I supose you are selling yourself in a sense, everything seems so competitive and if you're not a competitive person it's really hard.

    I guess we're an island in more than just the physical sense here, a lot of the thing's from the mainland in places like Llandudno haven't got as far as here yet, or Bangor for that matter.

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    I would say I am definitely trying to show that I am following the rules although ideally I’d like to be self employed somehow but that’s not as easy to get into. The way the job centre works now is basically a workers bootcamp where they start from scratch and try to manufacture you into a working product to be sold to employers. Sounds like a great idea but I see right through it and that’s another issue I have with it. The government have contracts with certain companies who are paid to help you back into work, they are much more involved than your typical job centre and you have to attend weekly for a year to do their courses and to catch up with your advisor. It’s all mandatory other than the courses I expect however there’s not any obvious red line you can cross so they could paint a bad picture of you if you don’t at least pretend and go along with what they require from you. 

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  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    I would say I am definitely trying to show that I am following the rules although ideally I’d like to be self employed somehow but that’s not as easy to get into. The way the job centre works now is basically a workers bootcamp where they start from scratch and try to manufacture you into a working product to be sold to employers. Sounds like a great idea but I see right through it and that’s another issue I have with it. The government have contracts with certain companies who are paid to help you back into work, they are much more involved than your typical job centre and you have to attend weekly for a year to do their courses and to catch up with your advisor. It’s all mandatory other than the courses I expect however there’s not any obvious red line you can cross so they could paint a bad picture of you if you don’t at least pretend and go along with what they require from you. 

Children
  • in reply to Autismman

    I had to do one of those, this was for 6 months and the person totally gave up even trying with me. I've never had a career path, more a tangent, I've done so many different things in my time and few of them correspond and commonalities are hard to draw. 

    One of my medical no no's is that I can't use computers when theres flourescent overhead lights as I can see the screen flicker and end up with terrible migraines, I've tried filters and all sorts, nobody ever seems to get how bad it can be, I often get told I'll be OK if I sit by a window. 

    To be honest I find lots of these things that NT's do incredibly transparent and they think it's all so clever and really hate it when you name the game, I used to sort of do this unconciously, now I do it on purpose, just to wind them up. Dumb insubordination is an underrated activity in these circumstances but it often gets them to leave you alone because whilst you do everything asked of you, it's done in a manner which they don't know how to deal with, or thats what I've found anyway, sometimes I've been awkwardly autistic on purpose, they really can;'t handle that, as it messes with thier heads and what they've been told about how to deal with ND