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imposter syndrome whilst waiting for a diagnosis

SophieWhit

I am getting diagnosed later in life (27 years old) and every step I progress into the diagnostic journey, I keep getting a paranoid feeling that I am lying, I am a fake etc and I know I am not, but does anyone have any advice on how to stop these feelings? Everyone in my life who I have spoken to about going forward with a diagnosis has been saying that it's clear I am autistic and without a doubt I have no worries about the diagnosis coming back lacking but I still worry. I think it stems down to not knowing what I will do if I get the answer that I am not autistic because I have more or less accepted it (I've been thinking I could be for at least half of my life now) and I know that is a silly feeling because my GP (who is experienced in autism luckily) wouldn't have put me forward for a diagnosis if they disagreed AND my friends who are also autistic wouldn't be supporting me in going for this but yeah.. any advice?

  • I can relate to this. I waited a year before my first autism and ADHD assessments. I had mynfirst autism assessment then the day before my second one I got an email saying it was all cancelled and ISlight smileas taken off the list because I'd moved area and therefore they couldn't fund it from my new area. I had such a meltdown. I did get diagnosed with ADHD before the cancellations and the lady (who isnSlight smile a specialist in autism) thinks I am, as do the mental health professionals I've continually been seeing over the years which is what first suggested I may be autistic. I don't have it in me to starSlight smilethe diagnosis procedure again just yet as I was waiting for so long in the first place but I feel like a fraud for self diagnosing. I also worry about what happens if I'm not, do you feel broken? ThSlight smile's what I kind of describe it as, like I know something is different about me. I don't have any advice for you, just that I can understand kind of Slight smile

  • This is what I dealt with too. The feeling if being imposter was strong to thepoint of madness. I decided some time ago  to stop reading and watching about autism and went back to my aliens and space. This way I don't feel imposter,  I'm just me again, although being a social outcast, I feel much better in my vast inner world. Today I told my mom one story I wrote 2,5 years ago about aliens and time travel and she told me, that Netflix could pay me for my stories. That was nice. So maybe you can also try to go back to your previous intrest and if autism became your kind of Obsession (it was in my case), then it would automatically fade after some time. Overthinking and analysing every possible moment, trait and situation will nit help unfortunately.  I myself am not diagnosed,  suspected autism and lexical gustatory synaesthesia, so I don't know how I will feel if I'm on my way, which is going to probably happen, because my husband and my daughter's teacher and her psychologist are trying to convince me to get myself tested for autism. My teachers in my childhood had these suspicion years ago (becausei was mute, they thought i dont speak at all and tgere were also meltdowns whenever they tried to force me to play with other kids) but my mom dismissed and was very angry that someone dares to say that her daughter is defective. Then I got multiple times misdiagnosed and mistreated and ended up as 37 y/o woman with suspected autism. 

  • I feel the same. I'm in the middle of getting a diagnosis currently (22 years old) and I feel like I'm a faker when I'm just trying my best to be true to myself.

  • I felt exactly the same sort of worry before my diagnosis because I knew coming away empty handed would leave me raw, confused and feeling stupid for even considering I could be autistic. Even after diagnosis the feelings of imposter syndrome can linger, coming and going like the tides of the sea, that’s how it is for me. 

    It may help to visualise a spectrum like this one. Everyone who is autistic will be on here somewhere in their own unique way. Not everyone is the same and black and white thinking; another autistic trait certainly doesn’t help with this type of thing. Sometimes you may think “How can I be autistic as I don’t do this and that like other autistic people do?” But not every autistic person has every autistic trait. I stim very little but others may do it more or constantly.