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Difficult period of transition

cobi

I am autistic and experiencing a very difficult time now.

Transitions and uncertainty are very difficult for me. I have been living independently for four years now for the first time in my life without being a lodger or a flatmate to someone else.

It’s been quite difficult financially and with the uncertainty of renting from a private landlord so I have applied for an intermediate market rent flat as part of a new scheme.

I am on the list for when the flats are ready but am having to move out of where I am, put my things in storage and stay with a friend for now.

My biggest problem now is anxiety and catastrophising. That things will go wrong, that I won’t get my deposit back, that I will get a bad reference and then not get the new flat, that there will be delays and my friend will get annoyed with me being there, every possible problem is going through my head and is literally keeping me awake and giving me stomach problems.

It’s also impacting my routines and making executive functioning more difficult than usual.

Does anyone have advice about how to deal with this and going through this uncertainty

Parents

  • Hi and welcome to the community. I understand your worries - I moved home a few months ago and .it was very stressful - although it is one of the.most stressful things anyone does, autistic or not.

    Try not to think about stuff that might not happen, but focus on the facts you know, getting any information you are missing, and being proactive to prevent any problems.

    1. Your deposit should have been held safely in a deposit scheme during your tenancy, and the landlord has 10 days after the end of the tenancy to either give the whole amount back or advise how much they want to deduct and what the deduction is for. If they propose a deduction, you can challenge this and if it cannot be resolved it will go to mediation. Once you and the landlord agree to the amount to be returned, they have 10 days from the date of agreement to return it. So think about anything that might be reasonable for them to make a deduction for, so you can be prepared, and agree the amount as soon as possible, to get the payment sent to you more quickly. 

    2. As you have already been renting, there should not be a problem with a reference unless you have rent arrears, have broken the terms of a tenancy agreement, or do not have sufficient income to pay the rent. Usually landlords ask for details of income up front before referencing, so that shouldn't be a problem. If you think there may be a reason why your last landlord/letting agent would give a poor reference, I suggest contacting them and asking them to let you know if there will be any problems with a reference.I

    3. If the flats are New build, there may be delays, so ask the new landlords to keep you updated regularly. Also speak to your friend about this worry and asking it would be ok for you to stay a bit longer if necessary. 

    4. Try to keep the positives in mind, such as how nice it will be to have a new flat of your own to live in, what things you might buy for it such as curtains, etc. and remember that this difficult time will pass.

    I wish you lots of luck and hope you can get moved in soon.

Reply

  • Hi and welcome to the community. I understand your worries - I moved home a few months ago and .it was very stressful - although it is one of the.most stressful things anyone does, autistic or not.

    Try not to think about stuff that might not happen, but focus on the facts you know, getting any information you are missing, and being proactive to prevent any problems.

    1. Your deposit should have been held safely in a deposit scheme during your tenancy, and the landlord has 10 days after the end of the tenancy to either give the whole amount back or advise how much they want to deduct and what the deduction is for. If they propose a deduction, you can challenge this and if it cannot be resolved it will go to mediation. Once you and the landlord agree to the amount to be returned, they have 10 days from the date of agreement to return it. So think about anything that might be reasonable for them to make a deduction for, so you can be prepared, and agree the amount as soon as possible, to get the payment sent to you more quickly. 

    2. As you have already been renting, there should not be a problem with a reference unless you have rent arrears, have broken the terms of a tenancy agreement, or do not have sufficient income to pay the rent. Usually landlords ask for details of income up front before referencing, so that shouldn't be a problem. If you think there may be a reason why your last landlord/letting agent would give a poor reference, I suggest contacting them and asking them to let you know if there will be any problems with a reference.I

    3. If the flats are New build, there may be delays, so ask the new landlords to keep you updated regularly. Also speak to your friend about this worry and asking it would be ok for you to stay a bit longer if necessary. 

    4. Try to keep the positives in mind, such as how nice it will be to have a new flat of your own to live in, what things you might buy for it such as curtains, etc. and remember that this difficult time will pass.

    I wish you lots of luck and hope you can get moved in soon.

Children