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Traits (that we share?)

SubKonscious

Hi all. I was thinking of several traits and ways of thinking I have (some autistic, no doubt about it) that I know aren’t neurotypical, and I wanted to know if they were shared by people in this forum at all — and if so, by many? Here we go:

  • In need of darkness (environments with little light) and therefore much more comfortable at night than during daylight. 
  • In need of a mild temperature or cold weather but never hot (weather) as it also comes with strong light that gets you anxious. 
  • Avoiding social contact (especially on the street out of the blue) and even if it happens and everything goes well and gets pleasant, really wishing it doesn’t happen again in as long as possible — because you can’t avoid thinking next time it may be absolutely terrible for a myriad of reasons and it’s draining anyways. 
  • Obsessed about different things, including your special interests, and feeling you’re not in control — like you’re a passenger that is inside a train that is going extremely fast and can’t be stopped or slowed down. You feel drained about it too and also guilty, but there’s not much you can do.
  • People you spend most of the time with, like partners or family, tend to say you’re rude when you’re convinced you aren’t. They always say the expression of your face says otherwise, but you can’t control it at all.
  • You feel you waste time all the time as you get distracted with lots of things/you can’t stop doing what you’re doing easily — like transitioning from one thing to another is not that simple and you need to really insist before it finally happens. Due to this, you do things almost running afterwards because you feel there’s little time left after already having wasted a lot of time. I mean, for example, you’ll prepare yourself a coffee moving close to running and like that back and forth with other chores. 
  • Mouth stimming instead of hands/hips, etc.? I mean, mouth like tongue biting or lip/cheek picking.
  • A tendency to be seen as a very serious person even if that’s not ever planned. Naturally, you’re very serious.
  • A natural rejection towards travelling (holidays), going to the beach, and swimming pool in summer. 
  • An impossible-to-control sensitivity to music that you can’t stand. If it’s your style, you can be extremely emotional and excited, but if it’s the other way around, it’s even painful and will leave you feeling like ***.
  • Going to a restaurant is a no no if it depends on you. Choosing is always almost impossible and you feel super anxious but sometimes you have to go 

Well, I know some of the traits mentioned have been mentioned countless times but I am just throwing them in as they form who I am if that makes any sense. Thanks!

  • 1) Yes, but less so. I do not like very bright light as my eyes are sensitive

    2) Yes, but no anxiety, just physical discomfort

    3)Yes, but much less acutely

    4) Yes, but I am in charge of it

    5) Yes

    6) No, I'm more of a hyper fixator, sometimes going without eating meals because I'm mentally committed to something

    7) No, I fiddle with small objects, especially ones that click, slide or rotate

    8) Yes, except when I am intentionally absurdly silly 

    9) Yes, exasperatingly I remember the lyrics of songs that I hate

    10) No, I often choose restaurants for my family or for gatherings of friends. I had lunch today at a Vietnamese restaurant on my own, no qualms about it whatsoever.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    Hey, thanks so much for your input! It really means a lot. And yes, the teeth clenching is also unbearable for me as well. It’s the whole mouth area the problem really. Nice to meet you by the way.

  • Those apply to me as well, pretty much verbatim.

    For light aversion I had an inverted sleep schedule (go to bed 10 am) I liked it but it was hard to do many things. After 1 year or so, I stopped it. This was also an issue for many years during high school and uni.

    For the mouth stimms, I tend to do teeth clenching and grinding (during sleep and also while awake). And possibly this tension relates to lower back pain / spine and neck pain (somewhat similar to fibromyalgia.) I can tell after a deep breath how much tension there is in my face / jaw.

    Most of the characteristics by themselves aren't a huge problem for me though, unless I have to interface with many societal things. It is here where they tend to become worse and unhealthy, and overall an impairment. Examples besides poor social interaction skills and high anxiety are: filling up forms, doing many phone calls or appointments, changing places frequently, important changes in routine etc.

    Besides avoiding social events, I enjoy sollitude and concentrating on the different smells and sounds, especially in nature (but in a safe place, not in the Amazon forest etc.)

    Similarly, I enjoy darkness and colder places, tend to like the mountains, and dislike hot places --except having a hot shower or bath. I used to be the only child that was always shaking of cold as well, in the swimming pools.