Traits (that we share?)

Hi all. I was thinking of several traits and ways of thinking I have (some autistic, no doubt about it) that I know aren’t neurotypical, and I wanted to know if they were shared by people in this forum at all — and if so, by many? Here we go:

  • In need of darkness (environments with little light) and therefore much more comfortable at night than during daylight. 
  • In need of a mild temperature or cold weather but never hot (weather) as it also comes with strong light that gets you anxious. 
  • Avoiding social contact (especially on the street out of the blue) and even if it happens and everything goes well and gets pleasant, really wishing it doesn’t happen again in as long as possible — because you can’t avoid thinking next time it may be absolutely terrible for a myriad of reasons and it’s draining anyways. 
  • Obsessed about different things, including your special interests, and feeling you’re not in control — like you’re a passenger that is inside a train that is going extremely fast and can’t be stopped or slowed down. You feel drained about it too and also guilty, but there’s not much you can do.
  • People you spend most of the time with, like partners or family, tend to say you’re rude when you’re convinced you aren’t. They always say the expression of your face says otherwise, but you can’t control it at all.
  • You feel you waste time all the time as you get distracted with lots of things/you can’t stop doing what you’re doing easily — like transitioning from one thing to another is not that simple and you need to really insist before it finally happens. Due to this, you do things almost running afterwards because you feel there’s little time left after already having wasted a lot of time. I mean, for example, you’ll prepare yourself a coffee moving close to running and like that back and forth with other chores. 
  • Mouth stimming instead of hands/hips, etc.? I mean, mouth like tongue biting or lip/cheek picking.
  • A tendency to be seen as a very serious person even if that’s not ever planned. Naturally, you’re very serious.
  • A natural rejection towards travelling (holidays), going to the beach, and swimming pool in summer. 
  • An impossible-to-control sensitivity to music that you can’t stand. If it’s your style, you can be extremely emotional and excited, but if it’s the other way around, it’s even painful and will leave you feeling like ***.
  • Going to a restaurant is a no no if it depends on you. Choosing is always almost impossible and you feel super anxious but sometimes you have to go 

Well, I know some of the traits mentioned have been mentioned countless times but I am just throwing them in as they form who I am if that makes any sense. Thanks!

Parents
  • I can super relate to the darkness. I really enjoy the peace and quiet of the night time and I also love seeing the skylines of cities in the night time too. Now winter is coming the nights are getting longer so my mum is able to take me out for a drive in the night more often, I love doing this at Christmas time and seeing all the twinkly lights. If I tend to go out for fresh air alone then I’ll just hang outside my flat but all I seem to do is make people jump but when I’m out of a day I get so many nasty looks from people. I mean people say it’s all my imagination but still. 

    Defo like the neutral or cooler weather! Again I’m a winter girl and what I love about winter and even autumn is when it’s cold I can at least wrap up and get warm and cozy, in summer I can’t cope with the heat and of course longer days and there busier for longer. Only time I’m ok in warmer weather is when I’m on holiday and I have a pool to jump into. Been suffering with hot flushes or flashes or whatever they’re called and omg they are horrible! 

    I can also be bad with social contact but there again if the person I am talking to is chatty enough then we can have good conversations but when they are quiet or miserable etc then I get upset as I feel it’s my fault or I am a failure that I can’t make them nice.

    I have a real obsession when it comes to gaming and characters. I tend to have control on how much I play them but I have been told I am an addict and I’ve been guilt tripped for playing games that are different to what I’ve usually played. Like I get bullied for playing a game rated 12+. Only one I managed to play was Simpsons tapped out until that closed and I am also getting into the sims 4 but I still feel guilty for the games I got bullied for. 

    I can relate to all the points really but the ones I mentors are the most relatable for me. 

  • Thanks  . City twinkly lights at night observed from afar have a cosy relaxing feeling, don’t they? Since I was a toddler they fascinated me. Winter (not freezing to death of course) also feels so positive and good. I basically like the opposite of what most people want actually: people like the longest possible days, as much sunshine as possible, high temperatures (I understand not extreme either), air conditioning, beach time on the hot and once wet sticky sand, etc. What I love about the beach (also the swimming pool) is being under water as much as possible and staying there so calm and in peace… Besides, the perspective of seeing the surface from underneath is so beautiful to see, but obviously we have to go up for air all the time, so that kind of breaks the flow all the time. 

Reply
  • Thanks  . City twinkly lights at night observed from afar have a cosy relaxing feeling, don’t they? Since I was a toddler they fascinated me. Winter (not freezing to death of course) also feels so positive and good. I basically like the opposite of what most people want actually: people like the longest possible days, as much sunshine as possible, high temperatures (I understand not extreme either), air conditioning, beach time on the hot and once wet sticky sand, etc. What I love about the beach (also the swimming pool) is being under water as much as possible and staying there so calm and in peace… Besides, the perspective of seeing the surface from underneath is so beautiful to see, but obviously we have to go up for air all the time, so that kind of breaks the flow all the time. 

Children
  • See where I live, though my view isn’t as good when I’m on the ground, if I’m on a ladder or something I can see the city of Liverpool from my living room. Even when I’m not on a ladder I can still see the liva-buildings. It’s super cozy and relaxing. I also like staying in hotels where you can see an amazing skyline at night. 

    Im the complete opposite to majority of people I like to have the shortest days and of course winter haha. When it comes spring and summer I seem to go into some depression because I can’t seem to go outside and if I do I get so overwhelmed. Having BDD definitely doesn’t help