Traits (that we share?)

Hi all. I was thinking of several traits and ways of thinking I have (some autistic, no doubt about it) that I know aren’t neurotypical, and I wanted to know if they were shared by people in this forum at all — and if so, by many? Here we go:

  • In need of darkness (environments with little light) and therefore much more comfortable at night than during daylight. 
  • In need of a mild temperature or cold weather but never hot (weather) as it also comes with strong light that gets you anxious. 
  • Avoiding social contact (especially on the street out of the blue) and even if it happens and everything goes well and gets pleasant, really wishing it doesn’t happen again in as long as possible — because you can’t avoid thinking next time it may be absolutely terrible for a myriad of reasons and it’s draining anyways. 
  • Obsessed about different things, including your special interests, and feeling you’re not in control — like you’re a passenger that is inside a train that is going extremely fast and can’t be stopped or slowed down. You feel drained about it too and also guilty, but there’s not much you can do.
  • People you spend most of the time with, like partners or family, tend to say you’re rude when you’re convinced you aren’t. They always say the expression of your face says otherwise, but you can’t control it at all.
  • You feel you waste time all the time as you get distracted with lots of things/you can’t stop doing what you’re doing easily — like transitioning from one thing to another is not that simple and you need to really insist before it finally happens. Due to this, you do things almost running afterwards because you feel there’s little time left after already having wasted a lot of time. I mean, for example, you’ll prepare yourself a coffee moving close to running and like that back and forth with other chores. 
  • Mouth stimming instead of hands/hips, etc.? I mean, mouth like tongue biting or lip/cheek picking.
  • A tendency to be seen as a very serious person even if that’s not ever planned. Naturally, you’re very serious.
  • A natural rejection towards travelling (holidays), going to the beach, and swimming pool in summer. 
  • An impossible-to-control sensitivity to music that you can’t stand. If it’s your style, you can be extremely emotional and excited, but if it’s the other way around, it’s even painful and will leave you feeling like ***.
  • Going to a restaurant is a no no if it depends on you. Choosing is always almost impossible and you feel super anxious but sometimes you have to go 

Well, I know some of the traits mentioned have been mentioned countless times but I am just throwing them in as they form who I am if that makes any sense. Thanks!

Parents
  • You will find that most of us autists can relate to your list. Most if not all apply to me as well. being a lateling I was mostly unaware of my traits until after diagnosis. The comfort of a dark room with just the light from the tv is preferable to having the ceiling lights on. I like warmth but not too warm.

    Procrastination is very bad for me. It takes ages to make a decision for even simple things like getting a takeaway, even after making a decision I will overthink it to check if I have made an error, and then spend ages beating myself up about,

    It truly is a very difficult life being an autist.

  • I couldn’t agree more. For me the biggest challenge is the anxiety that being autistic creates. Anxiety in my case has increased exponentially as I got older. It was always there since day 1 of my life but in the past I didn’t even know I was full of anxiety whereas now it’s so obvious and hiding it isn’t possible anymore. Taking things to control the anxiety is a trial and error thing. Haven’t found the right thing/amount yet but never give up as they say…

    • Totally agree i had bad anxiety all my life and its getting worse with age, sometimes I don't even know why im so anxious, but its getting really hard to deal with now, its a major challenge. I take sertraline but its not having much of an affect, so what do you do as its getting harder to live with it and its getting harder not to give up as you get older. Going back to a therapist is one answer 
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    • Totally agree i had bad anxiety all my life and its getting worse with age, sometimes I don't even know why im so anxious, but its getting really hard to deal with now, its a major challenge. I take sertraline but its not having much of an affect, so what do you do as its getting harder to live with it and its getting harder not to give up as you get older. Going back to a therapist is one answer 
Children
  • Yes of course. A therapist is a must at least until things feel better but I feel that by itself isn’t enough to get rid of the anxiety — not at the moment at least. It’s definitely one answer though but usually more answers are needed. My last prescription is Pregabalin but it’s not working well (yet). Hopefully it will. Otherwise, I will have to find something else but every time I try a new thing it’s the same story all over again (bad side effects or/and no improvement whilst psychologically there’s an added stress/uncertainty due to this). Anyways, we’re in this battle together ;)