Is music your voice?

I'm not sure this is what you meant but...

I suspect that music is my first language. For me it's not the words of a song that make sense it's the rhythm and harmony. I can't express myself in words very well, especially when it comes to my own thoughts and emotions, words don't mean anything.

Currently feeling like the cadenza in the first movement of Prokofiev's 2nd piano concerto.

Should probably mention that I used to be a concert pianist, so I did spend a lot more time engaging with music than with people growing up.

My second language is shapes and colour. I can translate music into shapes and colour easily.

I find verbal communication hard. Words are a little easier if written down. I struggle to remember new words, names of people and things. I've never been able to learn a foreign language.

Golly, you're all so knowlegable about musical terms and how a piece of music is constructed, I thought a cadenza was a piece of furniture!

For me theres a sweet spot that some music hits, I can't say what it is or why. I often don't particulalry listen to the lyrics as such, but just try and copy the sounds, I've never had any musical training, we did music at school, but like so much else the teaching way poor, I just got shouted at for being unable to keep time properly and not knowing when to come in. I remember one time being given a triangle to play and getting shouted at because I came in at the wrong time and I only had to hit it twice. I still don't know what the difference between the beat, melody and rythum or what instrument plays what bit?

I wonder if it's related to my complete inability to dance? When people count I don't really know what they're counting or what they're doing it for or why?

I’ve also been completely useless with regards to playing an instrument. I had the same problems you mentioned: coming in late or early and getting completely lost with the pace. Is that something people here can relate to or is it just a coincidence we were both bad at it? Singing was the same. Too fast or too slow and never doing it when it matched the rest of the instruments. I was very frustrated and wasn’t too nice on myself.

Not sure you should take these difficulties as personal. I've done workshops for schools where I've discovered a whole school that have never been taught the difference between pulse and rhythm.

Not sure you should take these difficulties as personal. I've done workshops for schools where I've discovered a whole school that have never been taught the difference between pulse and rhythm.