Hey all,
Having/finding friendships as an autistic person I’ve felt quite difficult and I left school almost 20 years ago and haven’t had a friend since, until the last couple of years where I made a friend (online) who has since been to visit on quite a few occasions.
However, I’m trying to hold tightly onto this friendship as it’s the only one I have - but I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do. She associates me as a “bestie” and states she “loves me” but I have noticed more-so over the last year she’s a compulsive liar. I think for me I’m quite luckily I’m able to see through her lies easily and her actions and body language speaks a thousand words, so I’m able to navigate accordingly to her lies and play dumb to them.
However I think I’m leaving myself vulnerable and I’m frightened in having no friends again - it’s a lonely world. When she does visit I generally pay for everything for her, and give her money for transport and such, though a thanks is rarely heard and I think manners is so important to show gratitude for that. It was her birthday a couple of months ago and I didn’t even receive acknowledgement or a thankyou for the card, again it takes two seconds.
You might think why am I writing this as it seems clear, but in my mind it isn’t. How exactly am I meant to deal with this? What is the right way or wrong way? Do I keep playing dumb or do I become friendless again. I’m very wary with the information I share with her now as I feel I can’t fully trust her. I know when she’s being true and genuine she is a decent human but I think she has her finger in too many friendships to see what is the best offer she can get from each one. She never introduces one to another and it’s all very secretive.
My heads a mess, I’ve cried night over nights, and I had spoken to her twice prior about some of her behaviour and it was always someone else’s fault - again, which I didn’t believe but I played dumb to.
…help? From a confused Autistic struggling with their first ever adult friend.
