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I feel like I'm near the edge

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Got diagnosed with autism+ADD a year ago, I’m 31, live in the UK and me and my boyfriend are looking to move in together in Manchester.

I love my partner more than anything, I've never met anyone that actually meets my needs like he does, so I can't see a world where we aren't together, but I am so afraid that our finances aren’t going to be accepted by landlord, that for some reason my eu-settlement status is not going to go from pre-settled to settled, etc.

I try so, so hard to make sure all paperwork for everything is 100%, I’m also hunting for jobs, sending at least 6 applications per day, since start of the month, but.. I feel like I’m on the edge of giving up on everything, move back to my home country and put myself under social care because I don’t know if I’m capable of having the life I actually want

I can’t sleep, I have constant anxiety/palpitations, I can barely eat

I'd really appreciate any advice because I have nowhere else to turn. Has anyone else felt this way? If you got through it, how?

Parents

  • Hi I’m sorry to hear about your struggles. I’m 22 and in a similar situation regarding finances. I still live with my family and my fiancée has moved in and we’re desperate to move out into our own place. My fiancée works full time and I can’t work because of my autism, but I am on disability benefits - but it’s not enough to afford even a flat. I’m constantly anxious about affording things and feel so guilty for relying on my fiancée. I constantly feel like I can’t afford the life I want. I don’t really have any advice but you’re not alone in your struggles and experiences. Regarding therapy on the NHS I’ve had a similar experience I’m still waiting for some kind of support and I was diagnosed a year ago, I have tried CBT in the past before I was diagnosed for anxiety and depression but I found it never helped me as the cause of my anxiety was my autism. I hope that you can find something that works for you 

  • in reply to Ems
    Ems said:
    Regarding therapy on the NHS I’ve had a similar experience I’m still waiting for some kind of support and I was diagnosed a year ago, I have tried CBT in the past before I was diagnosed for anxiety and depression but I found it never helped me as the cause of my anxiety was my autism

    Unfortunately, unadapted CBT can be ineffective for autistic people. I also had some before my diagnosis, but also without success.

    Before having post-diagnosis therapy, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book. It discusses various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

    The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

    In my case I chose to have post-diagnosis counselling (via the NHS), led by someone experienced in helping neurodivergent clients, and I found it much more helpful.

  • in reply to Bunny

    Yeah my previous CBT therapist (before I was diagnonsed) was actually the one who told me that the CBT after a over a year isn't really working on me, and she was the one who figured out that I might actually have autism/adhd and that I should get diagnosed

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