Post-diagnosis mindset

Hello alushjoyhand 

I would advise you that you are not alone.  The experience you describe is remarkably similar to mine after diagnosis and that I have found to be described repeatedly by many others, in research papers and articles on the topic.

The question that hangs off this is can one " recover" from feeling scared and sad and how to perhaps go about it.

There is a host of advice as to how to move on after diagnosis - there are many people including myself who are able to say that they are improving post diagnosis.  I suspect those who raise completely beyond the need for help or support in this group is difficult to tell.  Maybe there is a group of autisitic people who post diagnosis have an absolutely brilliant life - at the risk of pessimism I have found it difficult to find the evidence of this.

Scared and sad could be synonymous with anxious and depressed - the evidence of this being experienced by a majority of autistic people is out there.

Where this feeling may come from?  I came across this in an article a few days ago (link to it on a post to the full text with due credit that I created recently because I thought it a really good article generally).  I've been naughty and removed some bits  of it like the references in it to hopefully make it more readable.

 "Studies also suggest that several traits commonly considered “inherent” to autism might be more accurately reframed as symptoms of repeatedly engaging in painful interactions.. “It is possible—perhaps even likely—that for some, ‘both emotional poverty and an aversion to company are not symptoms of autism but consequences of autism’.  ”This theme of “Neuronormativity as Disabling” thus adds crucial nuance.....” Rather than framing struggles with face-to-face interaction as inherent to autistic individuals, it highlights how such challenges are shaped by normative sensory demands and the “unwritten implicit social codes of the neurotypical majority"

So logically if one were able to remove oneself from painful interactions this is the first advice to take.  Realistically though unless one is blessed with a substantial bank balance and/or can enter some form of supported retreat this is a difficult one to achieve.  I am coming to think that it may be too great an expectation for neurotypical society overall to make adjustments for neurodiversity as their brains are not made for it.

Generally I think autistic people get on better with other autistic people than with neurotypical people - this site gives an opportunity for some respite.  There are other ways too.

"Be kind to yourself" is regularly given advice for this situation - and if you can, do I suggest.  There is a balance to take in what may be necessary withdraw and regeneration vs necessary exercise be it physical, mental and social.  My advice on this topic is "do less to do more" and that 70% gets an A in most exams.

On a good day earlier in the week I came up with this and it may be relevant to your question:

"I wondered if anyone else had made a connection between burnout and the mythological phoenix.

Google AI came up with this:

"To "survive burnout phoenix-style" means to recover and rise from it by first prioritizing rest and self-care, then setting realistic expectations and boundaries, seeking support from others, and finally reflecting on and reassessing your goals to rebuild a more balanced life that aligns with your values. This process takes time and involves self-reflection, reconnecting with passions, and celebrating small wins to find renewed joy and meaning”

Myths have a really important role in explaining natural events to people.

Proverbs do too e.g : "iron ore thinks itself needlessly tortured by the flame..." 

Here's to phoenixes burning and rising out there.

And any iron that is feeling the heat or taking a beating, think of the edge it will give you!"

Today I don't feel like the same positive minded person that wrote that - probably because experiences that have poured cold water on the fire over the past few days and because I'm having to go back to work on Monday where I expect by experience a bit of a deluge...

It's tricky, but if I could really boil the advice down I would say find a scheme and a strategy that gets you to a better place - psychologically, socially and physically.

This is tough because (not in a religious sense necessarily) you may find that your spirits need to be raised in order to do that.  So engage with something that "raises your spirits" first maybe.

Best wishes :-)

Hello alushjoyhand 

I would advise you that you are not alone.  The experience you describe is remarkably similar to mine after diagnosis and that I have found to be described repeatedly by many others, in research papers and articles on the topic.

The question that hangs off this is can one " recover" from feeling scared and sad and how to perhaps go about it.

There is a host of advice as to how to move on after diagnosis - there are many people including myself who are able to say that they are improving post diagnosis.  I suspect those who raise completely beyond the need for help or support in this group is difficult to tell.  Maybe there is a group of autisitic people who post diagnosis have an absolutely brilliant life - at the risk of pessimism I have found it difficult to find the evidence of this.

Scared and sad could be synonymous with anxious and depressed - the evidence of this being experienced by a majority of autistic people is out there.

Where this feeling may come from?  I came across this in an article a few days ago (link to it on a post to the full text with due credit that I created recently because I thought it a really good article generally).  I've been naughty and removed some bits  of it like the references in it to hopefully make it more readable.

 "Studies also suggest that several traits commonly considered “inherent” to autism might be more accurately reframed as symptoms of repeatedly engaging in painful interactions.. “It is possible—perhaps even likely—that for some, ‘both emotional poverty and an aversion to company are not symptoms of autism but consequences of autism’.  ”This theme of “Neuronormativity as Disabling” thus adds crucial nuance.....” Rather than framing struggles with face-to-face interaction as inherent to autistic individuals, it highlights how such challenges are shaped by normative sensory demands and the “unwritten implicit social codes of the neurotypical majority"

So logically if one were able to remove oneself from painful interactions this is the first advice to take.  Realistically though unless one is blessed with a substantial bank balance and/or can enter some form of supported retreat this is a difficult one to achieve.  I am coming to think that it may be too great an expectation for neurotypical society overall to make adjustments for neurodiversity as their brains are not made for it.

Generally I think autistic people get on better with other autistic people than with neurotypical people - this site gives an opportunity for some respite.  There are other ways too.

"Be kind to yourself" is regularly given advice for this situation - and if you can, do I suggest.  There is a balance to take in what may be necessary withdraw and regeneration vs necessary exercise be it physical, mental and social.  My advice on this topic is "do less to do more" and that 70% gets an A in most exams.

On a good day earlier in the week I came up with this and it may be relevant to your question:

"I wondered if anyone else had made a connection between burnout and the mythological phoenix.

Google AI came up with this:

"To "survive burnout phoenix-style" means to recover and rise from it by first prioritizing rest and self-care, then setting realistic expectations and boundaries, seeking support from others, and finally reflecting on and reassessing your goals to rebuild a more balanced life that aligns with your values. This process takes time and involves self-reflection, reconnecting with passions, and celebrating small wins to find renewed joy and meaning”

Myths have a really important role in explaining natural events to people.

Proverbs do too e.g : "iron ore thinks itself needlessly tortured by the flame..." 

Here's to phoenixes burning and rising out there.

And any iron that is feeling the heat or taking a beating, think of the edge it will give you!"

Today I don't feel like the same positive minded person that wrote that - probably because experiences that have poured cold water on the fire over the past few days and because I'm having to go back to work on Monday where I expect by experience a bit of a deluge...

It's tricky, but if I could really boil the advice down I would say find a scheme and a strategy that gets you to a better place - psychologically, socially and physically.

This is tough because (not in a religious sense necessarily) you may find that your spirits need to be raised in order to do that.  So engage with something that "raises your spirits" first maybe.

Best wishes :-)

I truly appreciate the effort you have made to share this detailed post. I will be reading it in full on my lunch break today and may need a while to consider a reply.