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Venting on how working is hard

Deleted User

I have found the last 10 years quite tough. If I had to point just to one thing, I most commonly felt -and feel- alienated (or estranged).

There is like an oscillation: trying, failing, trying, failing...

I am exhausted, I feel an alien that doesn't quite know why it can't be fully like the others. I fear I will never be able to work, and this in turn makes me feel lazy or unworthy of love.

I have tried to cope, but this has left me quite disabled -or so I feel. And even with reasonable work experience and degrees, I feel just drained.

I was told this was autisc burnout, but sometimes I doubt it will go away. It feels like stuck with me.

I wonder how this maps to your case, or anything that comes to your mind.

If you feel so too, I share my love to you.

Parents

  • I get the "alien" thing. I look in a mirror and it takes some work to concede that what is looking back at me is human. There is a passing resemblance, I'll grant you, but I don't feel it. I have never felt it.

    Recently, in response to burnout and an education in all things Autistic, I've been employing a new tactic: stop trying! I am what I am (to quote some other lyrics) and there is no point in considering myself a failure for not being someone else. If I am being myself and not just a mask, I will always "fail" according to the standards of those around me. So f—ing what?! Why should I be apologising? That's just me—the real me. I need to stop trying to be liked by everyone, or it will kill me.

    I still don't feel "human", but only in the sense of not feeling NT. Now I know I really am different and I know why I'm different and I am starting to feel like me, which is a nice change of perspective.

  • in reply to Damojo

    Loving the "La Cage aux Folles"/Gloria Gaynor reference  .   Throw in a bit of "I Will Survive" and there's an anthemic theme buildling...  Hmm there's a topic for a post!

  • in reply to Phased

    We try to post entirely using the lyrics of songs, preferably related? I'd be worn out with all the Googling!

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