Support for a 19year old with autism 1.

That's a lots of good information and even more to think about. Thank you for taking the time to give such a detailed reply.

Right now she has no friends or hobbies at all. She thinks it will be easier in th UK but if course has no real concept of the difficulties there.

I have a lot to think about!

Yeah it can be hard to maintain long-distance friendships. I regret not keeping in touch with most of my friends in Finland and elsewhere, some of whom used to be quite close friends. On the other hand, it's often easier to find new friends when you are young.

Other questions for your household to consider:

- in which country are your young adult's role models in the real life community / close friends of their own and those of your family / the majority of your family's relatives with whom your young adult identifies?

- in which country's healthcare system does your young adult seem to best navigate (GP & Dentist & Mental Health)?

- are there particular interests / hobbies / pastimes enjoyed by your young adult which would be too expensive to pursue in the UK?

- thinking beyond College / University; in which country would your young adult most likely be able to afford to live either independently or via a supportive housing scheme?

- depending upon the likely theme of study at College / University; in which country would your young adult be most likely to secure employment and be supported to thrive within a workplace?

I feel the same gaps are present in the UK (high support needs versus low support needs).

NHS Dentistry seems to have fallen off a cliff of both capacity and accessibility.

NHS GP Practices are generally wildly over-subscribed.  It has become a post code lottery around how long you wait to have an appointment with a GP and whether / not you will have access to continuity of care with your GP ...or your GP appointments will be with any available GP in the Practice (many of whom are on part-time contracts which increases accessibility to a GP appointment but also increases the likelihood of appointments being with a different GP each time).

The UK lack of integration between physical health services and mental health services has become a National scandal.

You have to be very well researched to understand the variations in service availability to different age groups within the different countries of the UK.

When it comes to Autism services in the UK; we can fall between the 2 stools of physical and mental health teams - with both sides busy trying to refer an Autistic adult towards each other's services (whether / not they are referral's which are likely to be accepted / declined.

Portability Sweden to UK Of High School Qualifications:

Check Each UK University Website: 

Each university sets its own specific entry requirements, so you must check the website of the UK universities you are interested in.

Grade Equivalency: 

Universities will assess your Swedish qualifications, such as the Avgångsbetyg / Slutbetyg från Gymnasieskola, and compare them to UK standards. For example, some universities consider a pass in the Swedish Higher Education Preparatory Diploma for university entrance.

Subject-Specific Requirements: 

Beyond general entry, specific subjects are often required for certain degree programs. For example, an engineering course may need Swedish Physics and Maths qualifications equivalent to A-levels.

Foundation Pathways:

If your Swedish high school qualification is not considered equivalent to UK A-levels, you may need to complete a foundation pathway to be eligible for direct entry to an undergraduate degree. 

Also check each UK University website to better understand which Universities offer the most supportive disabilities / neurodiversity service teams.  This can vary according to which country within the UK the University is based, as does funding available and as does waiting lists / route options through waiting lists e.g. if your young adult were to subsequently require assessment for ADHD / another neurodivergent or mental health co-occurrence.

Many Autism support services in the UK community are actually aimed at children or adolescents, or the parents of same.  Some Autism / mental health support services may have an age cut-off for discharge at 19, or possibly 25.  The situation can vary according to whether an Autistic person does / not also navigate life via a learning disability or difficulty.  Many support services are actually charitable organisations.  Similar age bandings for service provision can persist in social care service provision too.

The employment rates of both the UK and Sweden are low and the "under employed" rates for both countries are still too high.  However, based upon Europe wide surveys and reports; Sweden scores higher than the UK based upon factors such as social inclusion and accessibility of services.

Your family has a complex decision to make based upon very personal factors.

Speaking as someone who moved countries / continents / education systems several times as a child and adolescent: even though I only had at any one time a very small circle of friends / acquaintances: each move made it almost impossible to maintain those relationships as they became long-distance friendships. 

I did manage to maintain 1 postal pen pal for 36 years before that too fell by the wayside. 

I speak now as an older adult with zero friends / acquaintances known and maintained since my 0 to 25 age range. 

Those small number of people with whom I may occasionally socialise these days tend to be more likely acquaintances, or neighbours, rather than friends in the traditional sense.  I have outlived those of the relatives with whom I used to identify (likely Autistic genetic relatives).

Hence, why I set so much store by my accessibility as an Autistic adult woman to 3 spheres in life:.

1. working when the opportunity and my personal situation permits
2. maintaining a wide collection of interests and involvement community service participation programmes (including things to draw me pseudo-socially out of the house once a week)
3. attending training courses, or book clubs, online / in person

...as it is these habits, routines, encounters and life skills which I have found afford me the greatest opportunities to establish a relationship with someone (outside of my household); such that I feel OK about asking them: to meet me at a museum exhibition / for coffee or lunch / arrange a joint visit to an event, or visitor attraction / a topical lecture / go for a countryside walk etc.

Ok, it can get a bit rusty (speaking in particular), but should quickly come back. When you reach a certain level in language proficiency, it's not easily lost/forgotten.

We speak English at home and Swedish everywhere else, but she barely left the house the last 2 years so she lost her Swedish a bit. Her concern is whether any Swedish qualifications will be valid in UK if we came back later

Does your daughter share the language problem though, if she grew up in Sweden? Sweden is a good country to get an education in, but I don't know how much there is support for autistic people. I worked at Chalmers Tekniska högskola for a year, but I didn't know I'm autistic back then. Most of us level-1 people go through life in a regular environment, I guess. 

Absolutely. That's why I'm trying to research as much as possible. It's a huge effort to move. We've been away for 18 years so neither the country or me are the same as we were. It will be completely new.

How would it be financially? Is there much help available? And is that effected by the fact that we've been away so long?

Hi. I'm sorry ot hear about your family. That makes it really hard.

Language is such an important part of being understood and being accepted, I think.

I would really like to be able to say it is better over here. It is always a balance, I think. When I came back, I was told two opposite things about how to view it. One: that it was a fresh start so that it was a great opportunity. One: that it was a huge change that was going to be difficult.

I think I found both of them to be true. 

Thanks for your input. Yes the language problem would go away. Unfortunately my family are not supportive so that doesn't help.

Pity its the same gap!  

Hi PrettyPurpleDaisy,

There is the same gap in the UK. 

I have one proviso though. About English being your first language. For me, this could be the one thing that could mean you both would feel happier back in the UK. I think it is about belonging in a culture. And for you both, saying English is your first langugae is like a symbol of where you might belong better. The other thing is when you say you are running out of fight. Would you have more supportive family back in the UK?

So I do have a disclaimer that affects my judgement on your question. I returned to the UK from overseas, thinking that I would belong better. I'm afraid the social problems I had overseas, just came along with me. 

Whatever you both decide, I wish you all the best.