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Special Interest Help?

Dee-Dee

Does anyone else ever feel weird when other people start liking their special interest or is it just me? Several of my (sort of) friends have been watching my favourite show and I don't know why it's made me upset? I don't know whether it's because they don't acknowledge it's my special interest or talk about it without me or the fact that they've done it with several things now but every time I see them talk about it it just really upsets me. It's so frustrating because I've never wanted to gate keep anything before - normally, I love it when people watch my favourite shows or listen to my favourite bands but for some reason I'm having issues with it now. I just wish I could go back in time and never recommend it to them because I feel like I've lost my *thing* and it's been taken away from me if that makes sense. If I'd known that they'd act like this around it I never would have shared it with them to be honest as I've had issues in the past with someone becoming obsessed with something to get close to me and it ended up very toxic and traumatising.  I feel (maybe stupidly) like if I can figure out why it doesn't sit right with me I'll be able to get over it but I really don't know why it's so upsetting for me. 

Has anyone else experienced anything like this? Do you know why it made you upset? 

Parents

  • I decided to cheat: I pasted your post into https://duck.ai/, but it had some interesting things to say. I find AI can be a useful source of food for thought, just don't take what it suggests too seriously. This is probably something a therapist could help you with more effectively.

    It's common to feel upset when others start to engage with your special interests, especially if it feels like you've lost a part of your identity. This can happen for several reasons:

    1. Loss of Ownership: Sharing a special interest can make it feel like a part of you is being shared. If others engage without acknowledging your connection, it may feel like you've lost something special.

    2. Fear of Misrepresentation: You might worry that your friends will interpret or discuss the interest in ways that don't align with your appreciation, leading to anxiety about how it's perceived.

    3. Past Experiences: If you've had a toxic experience where someone became obsessed with your interests, it can make you more protective and sensitive to how others engage with them.

    4. Desire for Connection: Special interests often serve as a way to connect with others. If your friends discuss the interest without including you, it can feel isolating.

    5. Overwhelm: When a special interest becomes popular, it can change the dynamics of the community, making you feel like an outsider in something that once felt intimate.

    To process these feelings, consider reflecting on what specifically bothers you, communicating with your friends about your feelings, setting boundaries if necessary, and seeking new communities where you can engage with your interests in a way that feels authentic. Your feelings are valid, and it's important to take the time to understand them.

Reply

  • I decided to cheat: I pasted your post into https://duck.ai/, but it had some interesting things to say. I find AI can be a useful source of food for thought, just don't take what it suggests too seriously. This is probably something a therapist could help you with more effectively.

    It's common to feel upset when others start to engage with your special interests, especially if it feels like you've lost a part of your identity. This can happen for several reasons:

    1. Loss of Ownership: Sharing a special interest can make it feel like a part of you is being shared. If others engage without acknowledging your connection, it may feel like you've lost something special.

    2. Fear of Misrepresentation: You might worry that your friends will interpret or discuss the interest in ways that don't align with your appreciation, leading to anxiety about how it's perceived.

    3. Past Experiences: If you've had a toxic experience where someone became obsessed with your interests, it can make you more protective and sensitive to how others engage with them.

    4. Desire for Connection: Special interests often serve as a way to connect with others. If your friends discuss the interest without including you, it can feel isolating.

    5. Overwhelm: When a special interest becomes popular, it can change the dynamics of the community, making you feel like an outsider in something that once felt intimate.

    To process these feelings, consider reflecting on what specifically bothers you, communicating with your friends about your feelings, setting boundaries if necessary, and seeking new communities where you can engage with your interests in a way that feels authentic. Your feelings are valid, and it's important to take the time to understand them.

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