Hi everyone,
New to the forum here. I'm in my early 40s and have a late diagnosis of autism. When giving the diagnosis they say they couldn't diagnose for ADHD but "we've seen it enough". I was quite surprised by the autism diagnosis (I was prompted to do it by my therapist) but the more I think about it the more it makes sense, which seems common in late diagnosis.
Anyway, has anyone experienced having issues with alcohol and substance misuse due to their condition? When I was younger I used to take substances and drink a lot. At the time it was fun, but I look back and wonder how much I was using it to reduce any autism symptoms and socialise for longer (without alcohol or substances I usually begin feel social burnout after 90 minutes or so). Now I'm older and have greying temples do these things much less, but occasionally it'll rear its head and three weeks ago I went out on got wrecked on my own, drinking and doing substances from the afternoon until the early morning. This happens sometimes. There's a 'drive' that sort of compels me to do it that I struggle to put my finger on. This lone substance misuse will be roughly every 3 - 4 months. Lone drinking happens a little more regularly, it's less impactful but I'm aware of how unhealthy it is.
Things are particularly unsettled at the moment because I got a back payment from disability benefit so have a bit of surplus cash, also things between me and my partner are not good at all. I've now moved this money into a different account so there's an extra 'hurdle' for myself to access it and I'll see how that goes. Otherwise there are fortunately family and friends I can trust to send it to.
The next day is usually always a nightmare. I will be in a great deal of distress and be extremely anxious about my behaviour, deeply regretful as well. This will usually subside by the evening, but it's such an awful feeling of angst. I rang a mental health support line on Saturday (the day after the last time I've taken substances, though this was with a friend and not alone) and they gave me some good advice, which was when I'm feeling that urge to give them a call and chat through what I'm going through and see if the feeling subsides, which seems sensible. Let's hope I can do that in the moment :)
Apologies this is a bit of an aimless post but I'm just seeking a bit of solidarity and reassurance, and asking if anyone else has had similar experiences. Thanks for reading!