eye to eye contact - is it different looking at photographs compared to face to face?

acknowledged :-) hehe for my part I know I'm strange so good for them - if they just make the "reasonable adjustments" as I do my best to do also then all may be fine.

The hint is in the name.

They'll think I'm strange anyway!

oh blimey - unti I spotted the wink emoticon I was worried you didn't think of yourself as  real Damojo ?  oo - maybe I'm not either!!! 

(hehe that wink was hard to spot at a distance - maybe we should switch to opera!)

I'm reminded of this:  "The phrase "Am I a man dreaming I'm a butterfly?" comes from a famous story by the ancient Chinese philosopher Zhuangzi, who questioned whether he was a man who dreamed of being a butterfly or a butterfly dreaming of being a man."

Martin said:

I am aware that I'm doing it, it isn't subconscious

I think that was a large part of my being "in the closet" about being Autistic for so long (over 20 years). I felt I was "normal", just a not very good at it. I never realised that the fact that I was so conscious of what I doing all the time was itself the real pointer to the fact I was Autistic. Real people aren't conscious of any of this stuff.

thanks TheCatWoman 

thanks Stuart333 

seems so Stuart333   :-)

If you do the slow cat blinks at people they'll think you're a bit strange.

I do not count, but I have worked out when to make and break eye contact in a way that seems to make most allistic people comfortable. It is more a fly by the seat of the pants than a metronome system, but I am aware that I'm doing it, it isn't subconscious.

I got most right, but not at first glance, but by thinking about it. So time may be the big issue rather than the number correct.

Interesting strategy - which I recall having done from time to time too myself.  I think the whole issue relates to social uncertainty  - unfortunately compounded by a diagnosis that highlights it.  There are conscious strategies that may be employed and I'm happy with that - what choice anyway! :-)

I find photographs much harder than actual people, I can look another in the eye and I can look myself in the eyes too. When dealing with other's face to face, I use cat blinks, when a cat looks at you they will make eye contact and then blink and either return their gaze or look away slightly before returning to look at you again and start the whole process again until they feel OK to approach you. I've used this technique for years and find that it works equally well on humans as well as cats, it's less threatening than a full on stare. I wonder if as autists we feel we should hold anothers eye fo rlomger than we really need too?

Thanks Damojo and agreed - repeated it again together just now with my wife with answers available to check - caused some degree of levity at the face pulling that ensued!  An insight into masking and what lies behind it perhaps. - not sure how Japanese Noh theatre make up would fit in all this - not much opportunity for character development I guess!

i'm fascinated - do you count internally whilst doing so or is it a standard pause as it where in a musical performance?  

Yes, I think the length of time it takes to do the RMET test is the big thing. I look at the eyes, don't see a whole lot, then go through the four answers one-by-one and try to figure out which best matches the eyes. I scored pretty well with that approach, but it took a long time. The female eyes in the second half of the test were a complete mystery to me; I got most of those wrong.

I think NTs are more likely to just look at the eyes, guess the emotion and then pick it from the list of four, rather than doing the whole process-of-elimination thing, so NTs should complete the test more quickly.

It is usually that I'm doing my normal timing and occasionally I become momentarily more intrusively aware of doing it than normal, or self-conscious about it, and it throws me off

turns out I had done the test before - interestingly I scored in the high neurotypical range but took twice as long over it than a neurotypical.  Maybe more practice and I could get it quicker...  hehe fake it 'til you make it in acion maybe.  Amusingly I remember a girl friend asking me how i knew she liked me and I cited the science of pupil dilation -  fact was a bright light was on her face and eyes and as they say "the eyes have it"  - couldn't help but notice and it was the first thing I thought of.  Anyway lucky me that night :-)  Would be interested to know how you got on with the test Damojo if you are OK to share.  Hehe I won't be offended if you decline to comment!

good question - no I don't think it would - localises he issue to being the meeting not the person - thanks Damojo While I'm in contact with you - I posted a reply to your reply in the perseveration post yesterday regarding DPM to TPM shifts and mediation  - meant to send earlier it but didn't push the button - sorry.  Thanks I'll try the test :-)

If they were pictures of strangers that you were never going to meet, would they have the same effect?

You could amuse yourself by taking the Reading the Mind in the Eyes Test. See what you think.