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How long to wait?

Expecto_Patronum

Does anyone else have difficulty with this? I'm finding it is a regular problem in my life. For things like when I've sent a message and not had a reply. How long do you wait before sending a prompt.

I have 2 issues right now that I'm unsure of the expectation of how long is reasonable to wait.

First is I recently had therapy. It was full of ups and downs and I wouldn't say had a particularly meaningful or long term outcome. Its a little complicated as NHS had referred it out to another company who then referred it back to NHS stating they were referring me for long term therapy. Now they'd contacted NHS before they did this to ask what was available long term so we could discuss what would be most appropriate. The response was I had to be discharged from that therapist before they could discuss what could be offered. So this is what was done. But of course now I have no contact with that therapist so she won't be discussing next steps with them. I rang, I think about 2 weeks ago, and they said it had been sent to the appropriate people and somebody would let me know what was decided. 2 weeks seems quite long to have not heard back but then I'm aware they have huge numbers to get through and I'm probably down as a complex case now. So how long is reasonable before I ring again? I'm fully prepared for their to be years of wait time before I get more therapy, I'm not expecting it to start straight away. I just want to know what they are actually going to refer me for.

My other is I had a handy man round to look at an issue I was having. Yesterday he sent me a quote. I replied straight away with my availability for him to do the work and he hasn't replied. Am I being impatient? I'd have thought all he'd need to do is look at his diary and give me a time. Should I be prompting him? Or should I be giving him a bit more time?

Do neurotypical people over think these things? Or do they just instinctively know what to do. I find it so confusing.

Parents

  • Re the NHS: Would writing to them help? I don't know if there is a method of communication with the NHS that is most likely to elicit a response or not.

    Re the handy man: Give it another day or two. Sometimes they give a high quote if they don't want the job and don't expect to hear back. If the quote was reasonable, maybe he's just busy (hands covered in paint, etc.).

    Expecto_Patronum said:
    Do neurotypical people over think these things?

    No, not most of the time, anyway. I don't know that they know any more than we do, but if they don't know, they probably don't know or don't care that they don't know, so it doesn't really take much out of them.

  • in reply to Damojo

    That's a point actually. They do have an email address I'm sure. No idea how good they are at actually responding to it but it could be worth a go. I find sending emails far less stressful than ringing so I could try that and if still not heard then it'd feel more reasonable to ring. Thanks.

    It was a very reasonable quote, far less than I expected. He'd gone to the effort of coming to look and then had gone to look if he had spare bits he could use rather than charging me the full amount for new as it's a very small area and new he'd have had to buy a large amount. So I really get the impression that he intends to do the job. I just found it weird that he sent a quote but didn't respond with a time. I guess he may have got distracted or something or maybe he is just a slower replyer. I'll give it a bit longer. Waiting really isn't my strong point.

    I get hung up on the smallest of details. I can't stand unknown information. Let alone situations like this when there's a social difficulty involved. I'd love to have the ability to just let things go.

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  • in reply to Damojo

    That's a point actually. They do have an email address I'm sure. No idea how good they are at actually responding to it but it could be worth a go. I find sending emails far less stressful than ringing so I could try that and if still not heard then it'd feel more reasonable to ring. Thanks.

    It was a very reasonable quote, far less than I expected. He'd gone to the effort of coming to look and then had gone to look if he had spare bits he could use rather than charging me the full amount for new as it's a very small area and new he'd have had to buy a large amount. So I really get the impression that he intends to do the job. I just found it weird that he sent a quote but didn't respond with a time. I guess he may have got distracted or something or maybe he is just a slower replyer. I'll give it a bit longer. Waiting really isn't my strong point.

    I get hung up on the smallest of details. I can't stand unknown information. Let alone situations like this when there's a social difficulty involved. I'd love to have the ability to just let things go.

Children