No help is forthcoming on my carrer or rehousing
and im being told “you split up wirh me becuase I don’t like Taylor swift”
nonim breaking up with you becuse I don’t even get to watch tv and I get mocked for having a speical interest that makes me joyful
im not allowed to Info Dump im not allowed to self regulate
im day in day our being made to feel like a failure for having a intense interest yet my work friends who also don’t really like Taylor embrace it for an 8 hour shift yet at home i gwt told “yoir getting a tttaoo of someone you’ve liked for a week”
it doesn’t get listened to that masking is a thing a thing that has lead me to only watch or listen to Taylor on my own and not tell anyone and im fed up of feeling that it’s soemthing to be embarrassed about
for 2 years ive took every opertunitt to mock swifties as a form of maksing when deep down all I wanted was to say I love being a swiftie
bjr when I unmask and gwt told tou sound rediculss for using a nickname every swiftie uses it has been the thing that made me think forget this I need to be in my own
she accused me of having a side peice for gods sake
there three things I want right now my own space,ro quit my job(I had to do the work of 2 people today whilst the owner just made out hes a fun guy yeah sure it’s fun to refuse to help) and to work on my music even if that means having a job to pay the bills but a job that requires no more than 2 hours a day 5 days a week
I shouldn’t be made ro feel ashamed for once in my life feeling like I belong becuase ive found my fandom
I can’t change how much rhe music and carrer of Taylor means to me it’s part of rhe autistic need for facts patterns and familiarity
I wish I could shake it off but I cant and long gone are the days I’d marry with paper rings
thats another thing I do talk in quotes but it’s part of me and im nkt allows ro be that person
for too many years I struggled to find who I am I never fitted in when I had my goth phase etc but I have a fandom that I feel a part of and im not even allowed that but also im not allowed to want to end a relationship that hasn’t been working for months and months becuase it’s perceived as it all about Taylor no but shaming my passion just pushed me over the edge
ive gone from flappy hands and calmness to wanting to cry bjr being all out of tears
I am surrounded by change so this was the right time to change this too
inwant to be single so what if that means I have my own flat wirh a Tay Tay theme is it so wrong ro want to be who I am?
I think it’s probably best I stop unmasking now
