What to do?

I can relate to this. I had a job briefly back in May but I didn't last long as I was about to meltdown. I didn't want my employer to have to deal with this, so I told them that I won't be able to carry on. They wanted me to stay - saying that I'm a good worker and all that, which I am - but I know that I'm too damaged. Living on benefits is harder though. I feel like such a fraud - and I probably am, though I've been assured that it's because I'm mentally ill - and I don't know how much longer I can stand it. I'm on a vocational rehabilitation course, which is due to end in a couple of months, and maybe I'll be able to work again by the time the year's out. But I'm dubious. It all seems pretty futile.

Stuart333 said:

I nearly rage quit, I think they call it, a few times. But before doing something I regretted I always went outside for 30 mins to calm down, then pushed it to the back my mind and carried on for the day. Over a few days it would ease.

I've experienced that sort of thing all my life. I get all worked up, really need to be alone to calm down, and then sort of "suck it up" for a few days until I feel normal again. I never realised that these were meltdowns. Even after learning lots about meltdowns, I still didn't make the connection until I found more accounts of meltdowns that I could finally relate to. Now, I know what's happening as its happening, I try to talk myself through it, and I seem to be able to get over it more quickly (one or two days instead of three or four). Not that I'm getting "cured", they're happening more regularly than ever, but they don't feel as shaming or damaging as they used to.

I’d have another job lined up for streight after my notice period one wirh set hours this time

I have some adjustments but the people that hi far ean understand are all leaving this week 

190E(Taylor’s version) said:

I think I might be handing my notice in at work

After all the effory you have put into your business plan?

I find it helps to take a breather, focus on what my longer term goals are and remember that this is just to help get me there.

Finding a way to switch off the ability for the crud to annoy you is harder but I learned to just let it wash over me - I'm stronger that it is because I have a goal I want and I'm damned if it will get in the way. That's just my approach.

I nearly rage quit, I think they call it, a few times. But before doing something I regretted I always went outside for 30 mins to calm down, then pushed it to the back my mind and carried on for the day. Over a few days it would ease. I'd think what type of job I wanted, then realise he current one ticked all the boxes and I should be careful as I might get something worse.

If I really decided I'd had enough I then sorted out my CV and started looking.

It is also easier to get a job if you have a job.

Try to at least sleep on it.

Do you mostly enjoy your job? Do you have reasonable adjustments in place? I only ask because if you do enjoy it but don't have things in place to support you then this might be a better starting point than handing your notice in. Sometimes after a meltdown it feels like there's no other options.

If you don't enjoy your job or just find it really stressful and adjustments likely wouldn't help then fair enough. But give yourself enough time to properly think about the decision and make sure handing in your notice would be financially viable. You may have to look for other jobs first, it depends on your situation.

Autism can be hard sometimes. Hope you're feeling better soon.