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What’s the most “NT” way of starting a conversation?

Autismman

So today I made a conscious effort to start or try to start a bit of small talk between myself and a cashier. First of all they didn’t hear me which I thought was some sign I shouldn’t bother or did he hear me and was deliberately ignoring me? I am not sure. I ended up repeating myself by saying “busy today?” he replied with “not as busy as some weekends we have” fair enough answer. I made a comment on it being cooler in here and the outside is, it was a supermarket so they had air con luckily for them. I mean he didn’t seem that over the moon to be working at all so perhaps not the best start for my test but an experience anyway. I usually do not go out of my way to speak with others or start the conversation unless spoken to so I did plan what I was going to say but I will repeat this method perhaps with slightly different questions. I feel I need some scripts in my arsenal for different situations though. 

Parents

  • I lived in the US for a while and used to get a bit confused by the unfamiliar phrases and body language. Every time someone greeted me with "What's up?" it was all I could do to keep my eyes level. That's also a difficult one to answer with anything other than "What's up?", but that made little logical sense to me, so I think I used to go with, "Oh, same ol' same ol'."

    On one occasion, a colleague raised his hand and I stood there staring at it for a while. Then he prompted, "Eh, high five?" I duly "gave him five". I was in my early 20s and I had just lost my high-five virginity. It was a touching moment.

    Apropos of nothing, here's a little INFODUMP: Did you know that American men usually cross their legs with ankle-over-knee, rather than with knee-over-knee, which is much more common in Europe? Apparently, the European way is considered a bit "feminine". (Whereas us Europeans are thinking, "**cough** Spreading!")

  • in reply to Damojo

    What’s up?

    In my opinion, ankle over knee is too awkward and knee over knee is a little… too constricting if you know what I mean. I don’t feel like there’s a good answer to the world’s biggest dilemma of “how men should cross their legs.”

    I’m so sorry to hear about your loss of high-five virginity. If you were to come to the States now, we would have you do a fist bump instead; we’ve changed our ways to that since COVID.

    Speaking of weird phrases in the USA: I have a Mexican American friend who said when he was learning English here he overheard an attractive woman yell at someone else “Kiss my [EXPLETIVE].” Of course he thought she was being literal for the longest time and for a while kept thinking “Why did she want that guy to do that?”

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  • in reply to Damojo

    What’s up?

    In my opinion, ankle over knee is too awkward and knee over knee is a little… too constricting if you know what I mean. I don’t feel like there’s a good answer to the world’s biggest dilemma of “how men should cross their legs.”

    I’m so sorry to hear about your loss of high-five virginity. If you were to come to the States now, we would have you do a fist bump instead; we’ve changed our ways to that since COVID.

    Speaking of weird phrases in the USA: I have a Mexican American friend who said when he was learning English here he overheard an attractive woman yell at someone else “Kiss my [EXPLETIVE].” Of course he thought she was being literal for the longest time and for a while kept thinking “Why did she want that guy to do that?”

Children
  • in reply to profdanger
    profdanger said:
    ankle over knee is too awkward

    At my age, I just don't have the hip flexibility to do it comfortably.

    profdanger said:
    I’m so sorry to hear about your loss of high-five virginity

    Yeah, the experience wasn't great, and I doubt my partner got much satisfaction from it, but we all have to start somewhere. It was all over so quickly, too. Is that normal, or is there something wrong with my technique?

    profdanger said:
    If you were to come to the States now, we would have you do a fist bump instead

    Now, fist bumps I seem to "get". I do them quite a bit, but only to acknowledge a particularly witty riposte.