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What’s the most “NT” way of starting a conversation?

Autismman

So today I made a conscious effort to start or try to start a bit of small talk between myself and a cashier. First of all they didn’t hear me which I thought was some sign I shouldn’t bother or did he hear me and was deliberately ignoring me? I am not sure. I ended up repeating myself by saying “busy today?” he replied with “not as busy as some weekends we have” fair enough answer. I made a comment on it being cooler in here and the outside is, it was a supermarket so they had air con luckily for them. I mean he didn’t seem that over the moon to be working at all so perhaps not the best start for my test but an experience anyway. I usually do not go out of my way to speak with others or start the conversation unless spoken to so I did plan what I was going to say but I will repeat this method perhaps with slightly different questions. I feel I need some scripts in my arsenal for different situations though. 

Parents

  • I watched two videos presented by Paul Micallef (Autism From The Inside); which prompted me to suggest two contenders here (the first phrase as a NT small talk initiation - or not really?, followed up with the second designed to pretty much firmly shut the small talk down again!).

    1) Maybe: (NT) "How Are You?"

    "Is it a genuine question or just a social ritual to initiate small talk?"

    Part 1: The Truth Behind ‘How Are You?’ (Is it even a question?):

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUdbxyu2dWk&pp=0gcJCbIJAYcqIYzv

    2) Followed by: (NT) “I'm fine”

    "Why do people say “I'm fine” when they are not? There are two categories: some things might be private and not appropriate to share, while other times the social situation may not be right to share a deeper answer."

    Part 2: Why do people say “I'm fine” when they are not?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UcKEWZPjmg&pp=0gcJCbIJAYcqIYzv

    (See what you think about these two suggestions).

Reply

  • I watched two videos presented by Paul Micallef (Autism From The Inside); which prompted me to suggest two contenders here (the first phrase as a NT small talk initiation - or not really?, followed up with the second designed to pretty much firmly shut the small talk down again!).

    1) Maybe: (NT) "How Are You?"

    "Is it a genuine question or just a social ritual to initiate small talk?"

    Part 1: The Truth Behind ‘How Are You?’ (Is it even a question?):

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUdbxyu2dWk&pp=0gcJCbIJAYcqIYzv

    2) Followed by: (NT) “I'm fine”

    "Why do people say “I'm fine” when they are not? There are two categories: some things might be private and not appropriate to share, while other times the social situation may not be right to share a deeper answer."

    Part 2: Why do people say “I'm fine” when they are not?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UcKEWZPjmg&pp=0gcJCbIJAYcqIYzv

    (See what you think about these two suggestions).

Children
  • in reply to DormouseAtRest_25

    Thanks, that’s quite an unusual way to view what most people never think twice about. I believe NT’s don’t question the small talk or walk about thinking “what the hell was that all for?” “What does this interaction provide?”. I think we have to say something when we meet people even if we are familiar with them, staring at them or just smiling or maybe no expression at all upon meeting would cause unease and confusion. The greeting is a sign of I am not a threat from a human stand point I suppose where if I wanted to harm you I do not need to speak first.