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Question about anxiety around misunderstanding meaning

Tom

Hi - I'm a first-time poster here, 44 years old, and fairly recently diagnosed with autism - approx 2 years ago. During the period post-diagnosis I've been heavily reflecting on things that have been difficult over the years and things that continue to be challenging but that I've been putting a brave face on the whole time (and continue to).

My question to the community here is do many of you suffer strong anxiety when you feel like a person (or persons) have communicated something and that there is an intention behind the message but you're not absolutely clear what that message is? It's driving me nuts and I'm realising that it's been driving me nuts my whole life. I feel a strong sense that people are often putting pressure on me to be a certain way and to react to thing, or behave in general, in a particular way adhering to a kind of societal code I'm not aware of all the time.

I guess I'm just using this forum as a way of saying what I'm feeling in a community that might be able to sympathise with. Very interested to hear of others' experiences similar to this.

Parents

  • Hi, Tom. Welcome to the forum. We'll no doubt be able to sympathise with your experiences. We've probably all been there.

    I tend to think I get the message in the moment and then start second-guessing my understanding later. I'll go back and ask questions where I feel it's safe. I've been accused many times of being "argumentative" as a result, but what can I do?

    Or I get a really strong sense in the moment that I'm supposed to be reading between the lines—usually something negative—and I tend to get confused and overwhelmed by the possibilities and lose my ability to speak, so I can't ask questions. I just go red, keep nodding and shuffle off. It sucks.

    Most of those experiences were before I knew deep down that I was Autistic. I think I'd be more likely now to just do what I need to get what I need, but I'm going to need to practice that. I think the main difference now is that I would not blame myself if the other person responded inappropriately.

Reply

  • Hi, Tom. Welcome to the forum. We'll no doubt be able to sympathise with your experiences. We've probably all been there.

    I tend to think I get the message in the moment and then start second-guessing my understanding later. I'll go back and ask questions where I feel it's safe. I've been accused many times of being "argumentative" as a result, but what can I do?

    Or I get a really strong sense in the moment that I'm supposed to be reading between the lines—usually something negative—and I tend to get confused and overwhelmed by the possibilities and lose my ability to speak, so I can't ask questions. I just go red, keep nodding and shuffle off. It sucks.

    Most of those experiences were before I knew deep down that I was Autistic. I think I'd be more likely now to just do what I need to get what I need, but I'm going to need to practice that. I think the main difference now is that I would not blame myself if the other person responded inappropriately.

Children
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