In the process of being diagnosed

MindfulMatt said:

I've always had issues with anxiety and depression

Sorry to hear how stressful you are experiencing things at the moment.  I am really pleased to hear that your mother has been able to discuss the potential of the Autism assessment with you - it is good to have people in the real World as well - to be able to talk with about these big emotion topics.

It is also so great to hear you have found a job which suits you - now the priority is to find the appropriate support both within the workplace and outside of work.  I am not encouraging you to defer that outreach for help until after your assessment / when you are in receipt of your assessment feedback.

You have described that you are really struggling at the moment.  Thank you for being so clear with yourself about that and for sharing that understanding with us here.  Hopefully, between the many of us here in the community with some similar lived experience - we here can share some perspectives and signpost some support options for you to consider. 

The art is to find out about how to extend your potential support network (before ever needed) - and putting those contacts into your mobile so you can reach out if required.  If you find that you never need them - fine, it is all life skills; one day it might help you to assist someone you know if it were their turn to be the friend in need.

First point to reinforce: you are encouraged to update you GP on the situation you are experiencing (as we are not permitted to offer medical advice / amateur medical diagnosis).  It may be that with their better awareness of your anxiety and depression history; e.g. your GP might want to discuss with you whether a fit note might provide some beneficial rest for both mind and body at the moment:

https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/gps/getting-a-fit-note/

I was also curious whether or not you might have been able to take any of your annual leave for this year?  I ask; as sometimes when we get stressed and we find ourselves worrying about the significant things in life - the selfcare practicalities and routines can seem to get unsuitably de-prioritised (I'll admit to being prone to that tendency myself!). I am not asking to be nosey and hear the answer - as instead I am really encouraging you to just ask that question of yourself (in case the answer were to be "no / not much yet" annual leave taken for this year).

If there is some personal time available (via annual leave or a fit note - maybe consider taking a break from the workplace pressures and try to do something you would usually enjoy in that breather from work. I fully appreciate that when stressed / anxious / depressed; doing something you like might feel like the last thing on your mind. That is the point - to help remind yourself that there is more of value to you than either being an employee, or being a patient referred for an Autism assessment. If you can even have a go at doing a liked sport / pastime / hobby / interest (even better if it involves re-connecting with someone already known to you) - it can be surprisingly worth the effort even.  If the first thing tried doesn't feel right - no matter - try the next idea of something enjoyable etc.

The second good practice: It is good to bookmark the National Autistic Society Urgent Help webpage of contacts - just in case outside of GP Practice hours: you were to find it a good idea to talk to someone more formally trained in support topics:

https://www.autism.org.uk/contact-us/urgent-help

My third thought about the workplace: within your workplace do you remember whether you have access to any "Mental Health First Aiders" (they will have completed different training to a standard workplace medical / physical first aider), or is there an employee benefit of confidentially accessing an occupational health support team.

Fourth: depending upon how much rapport / relationship you feel you have so far been able to establish with your line manager; maybe it might be sensible to request an in person 1:1 meeting - to you to express how much you are enjoying your job and make them aware that you have a situation outside of work which you are juggling at the moment.  A good manager will already have likely noticed something is a load on you and be a bit concerned how better to support you at the moment (but not perhaps guessed the likely "source" - and you don't have to disclose everything if that feels wrong - plus, the manager might have misjudged the "magnitude" of quite how much of a load you are carrying and it's duration - particularly, if you might have been exhausting yourself; both in and outside work (diligently doing your best without asking for help).  ...Yes, I admit that I have tried really hard to operate according to that playbook before too - who did I think I was ...a super-human action figure straight off the page of a graphic novel?  One important note of warning: good managers aren't available to teams in every workplace - sad to say - so, do "expect a mere human" and then be pleasantly appreciative if you encounter an above average manager instead.  Try not to put your manager on the spot to come up with all the constructive problem solving suggestions from a blank starting point - try and think about what practical changes might be beneficial and take 2 copies of your written / printed list of suggested discussion topics or adjustments which you would hope to try and review (bullet points and useful links to resources).  Briefly set the scene, then offer your manager their own copy of your bullet points to be able to read and annotate as you discuss things together.  Remember to take a pen with you so you can annotate your copy as you talk together too.  It can be a good idea to also take with you a drink of water and stow a handkerchief / tissue in your pocket (these topics really mean a lot to you, you are stressed, you might be a bit nervous about the meeting and you are permitted to feel all those things - so part of selfcare is to be prepared for being a human and managing your experience - wherever the meeting might take you). 

Fifth: if you are in the UK, my understanding of the Equality Act (2010) is that you don't need to be formally diagnosed Autistic to request reasonable adjustments.  I believe that if you were to be in receipt of a formal Autism diagnosis; there is more strength towards being able to compel an employer (as a legal requirement) to consider requests around reasonable adjustments - although, even then there are some caveats.  In your situation, if your long-term anxiety and depression has been diagnosed by a GP or other Doctor - that intersection with mental health conditions management - should be considered within the workplace too.  We are all of us humans (not robots or computers) and sometimes, at different points across our life, we humans may need help from others - to vary the workplace load with which we may feel otherwise duty-bound to battle on performing.

www.autism.org.uk/.../what-are-reasonable-adjustments-and-when-can-they

Sixth: one UK Department of Work and Pensions employment / workplace programme often unknown to both employers and employees alike is something called "Access To Work".  This initiative is designed to help people in need of additional workplace support / reasonable adjustments / have a disability or health condition requiring budget which might be unavailable in the workplace - where the person is either about to start employment, or needs support to remain in employment.  You do not require a formal Autism diagnosis to apply to the Access To Work programme:

https://www.gov.uk/access-to-work

Hoping something proves to be of support.

Take care.

MindfulMatt said:

I've always had issues with anxiety and depression

Sorry to hear how stressful you are experiencing things at the moment.  I am really pleased to hear that your mother has been able to discuss the potential of the Autism assessment with you - it is good to have people in the real World as well - to be able to talk with about these big emotion topics.

It is also so great to hear you have found a job which suits you - now the priority is to find the appropriate support both within the workplace and outside of work.  I am not encouraging you to defer that outreach for help until after your assessment / when you are in receipt of your assessment feedback.

You have described that you are really struggling at the moment.  Thank you for being so clear with yourself about that and for sharing that understanding with us here.  Hopefully, between the many of us here in the community with some similar lived experience - we here can share some perspectives and signpost some support options for you to consider. 

The art is to find out about how to extend your potential support network (before ever needed) - and putting those contacts into your mobile so you can reach out if required.  If you find that you never need them - fine, it is all life skills; one day it might help you to assist someone you know if it were their turn to be the friend in need.

First point to reinforce: you are encouraged to update you GP on the situation you are experiencing (as we are not permitted to offer medical advice / amateur medical diagnosis).  It may be that with their better awareness of your anxiety and depression history; e.g. your GP might want to discuss with you whether a fit note might provide some beneficial rest for both mind and body at the moment:

https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/gps/getting-a-fit-note/

I was also curious whether or not you might have been able to take any of your annual leave for this year?  I ask; as sometimes when we get stressed and we find ourselves worrying about the significant things in life - the selfcare practicalities and routines can seem to get unsuitably de-prioritised (I'll admit to being prone to that tendency myself!). I am not asking to be nosey and hear the answer - as instead I am really encouraging you to just ask that question of yourself (in case the answer were to be "no / not much yet" annual leave taken for this year).

If there is some personal time available (via annual leave or a fit note - maybe consider taking a break from the workplace pressures and try to do something you would usually enjoy in that breather from work. I fully appreciate that when stressed / anxious / depressed; doing something you like might feel like the last thing on your mind. That is the point - to help remind yourself that there is more of value to you than either being an employee, or being a patient referred for an Autism assessment. If you can even have a go at doing a liked sport / pastime / hobby / interest (even better if it involves re-connecting with someone already known to you) - it can be surprisingly worth the effort even.  If the first thing tried doesn't feel right - no matter - try the next idea of something enjoyable etc.

The second good practice: It is good to bookmark the National Autistic Society Urgent Help webpage of contacts - just in case outside of GP Practice hours: you were to find it a good idea to talk to someone more formally trained in support topics:

https://www.autism.org.uk/contact-us/urgent-help

My third thought about the workplace: within your workplace do you remember whether you have access to any "Mental Health First Aiders" (they will have completed different training to a standard workplace medical / physical first aider), or is there an employee benefit of confidentially accessing an occupational health support team.

Fourth: depending upon how much rapport / relationship you feel you have so far been able to establish with your line manager; maybe it might be sensible to request an in person 1:1 meeting - to you to express how much you are enjoying your job and make them aware that you have a situation outside of work which you are juggling at the moment.  A good manager will already have likely noticed something is a load on you and be a bit concerned how better to support you at the moment (but not perhaps guessed the likely "source" - and you don't have to disclose everything if that feels wrong - plus, the manager might have misjudged the "magnitude" of quite how much of a load you are carrying and it's duration - particularly, if you might have been exhausting yourself; both in and outside work (diligently doing your best without asking for help).  ...Yes, I admit that I have tried really hard to operate according to that playbook before too - who did I think I was ...a super-human action figure straight off the page of a graphic novel?  One important note of warning: good managers aren't available to teams in every workplace - sad to say - so, do "expect a mere human" and then be pleasantly appreciative if you encounter an above average manager instead.  Try not to put your manager on the spot to come up with all the constructive problem solving suggestions from a blank starting point - try and think about what practical changes might be beneficial and take 2 copies of your written / printed list of suggested discussion topics or adjustments which you would hope to try and review (bullet points and useful links to resources).  Briefly set the scene, then offer your manager their own copy of your bullet points to be able to read and annotate as you discuss things together.  Remember to take a pen with you so you can annotate your copy as you talk together too.  It can be a good idea to also take with you a drink of water and stow a handkerchief / tissue in your pocket (these topics really mean a lot to you, you are stressed, you might be a bit nervous about the meeting and you are permitted to feel all those things - so part of selfcare is to be prepared for being a human and managing your experience - wherever the meeting might take you). 

Fifth: if you are in the UK, my understanding of the Equality Act (2010) is that you don't need to be formally diagnosed Autistic to request reasonable adjustments.  I believe that if you were to be in receipt of a formal Autism diagnosis; there is more strength towards being able to compel an employer (as a legal requirement) to consider requests around reasonable adjustments - although, even then there are some caveats.  In your situation, if your long-term anxiety and depression has been diagnosed by a GP or other Doctor - that intersection with mental health conditions management - should be considered within the workplace too.  We are all of us humans (not robots or computers) and sometimes, at different points across our life, we humans may need help from others - to vary the workplace load with which we may feel otherwise duty-bound to battle on performing.

www.autism.org.uk/.../what-are-reasonable-adjustments-and-when-can-they

Sixth: one UK Department of Work and Pensions employment / workplace programme often unknown to both employers and employees alike is something called "Access To Work".  This initiative is designed to help people in need of additional workplace support / reasonable adjustments / have a disability or health condition requiring budget which might be unavailable in the workplace - where the person is either about to start employment, or needs support to remain in employment.  You do not require a formal Autism diagnosis to apply to the Access To Work programme:

https://www.gov.uk/access-to-work

Hoping something proves to be of support.

Take care.