• Replies 38 replies
  • Subscribers 87 subscribers
  • Views 1113 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Risk aversion

aurelis

Life is about taking risks and seizing opportunities. I find myself feel as if I’m avoiding taking risks all the time, but still impulsive enough to put myself in situations that don’t suit me. It’s a weird contradiction.

There’s my thoughts and opinions, which I feel as if have lost their sharpness, and it feels more of a situation of code switching to the environment. I hide opinions I feel will be a burden to others and try to comfort everyone’s needs, and the perception that I haven’t suited everyone’s needs in the past keep me in a state of self-hate. 

Good thing is that I’m slowly starting to face these things. It’s so difficult, and it’s hard to convey to people what I want to say, rather than the polished version of events. I guess we keep on moving.

Parents
  • aurelis said:
    put myself in situations that don’t suit me

    Sometimes we have to put ourselves in uncomfortable situations and sometimes we don't. There's probably a fine line between putting in an effort and masking. We all have to figure out where that line is. My guess is that it moves around a bit, depending on my energy/stress levels. Identifying as Autistic does help us to know that the line exists, though. Then we can put our own needs a bit more to the fore and make better decisions.

  • in reply to Damojo

    I’ve been doing both really, throwing myself in uncomfortable situations so that I can connect with people. Difficulty is maintaining that connection indefinitely and building up a list of things to prepare for the next encounter. Or most of the time switching off the uncomfortable switch to put myself in situations that will challenge me socially, only to leave those situations ruminating on whether I met the right social requirements.

    however I’ll struggle with facing uncomfortable necessities such as good planning, perfectionism and making decisions without trying to please the other person, and I do need to work on that.

  • in reply to aurelis
    aurelis said:
    throwing myself in uncomfortable situations so that I can connect with people.

    This is on my list of things to do to, it will feel alien and I will feel like someone else is speaking but I think the experience good or bad could prove useful as a reminder of where I struggle and perhaps how to better that. 

Reply Children
No Data