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Risk aversion

aurelis

Life is about taking risks and seizing opportunities. I find myself feel as if I’m avoiding taking risks all the time, but still impulsive enough to put myself in situations that don’t suit me. It’s a weird contradiction.

There’s my thoughts and opinions, which I feel as if have lost their sharpness, and it feels more of a situation of code switching to the environment. I hide opinions I feel will be a burden to others and try to comfort everyone’s needs, and the perception that I haven’t suited everyone’s needs in the past keep me in a state of self-hate. 

Good thing is that I’m slowly starting to face these things. It’s so difficult, and it’s hard to convey to people what I want to say, rather than the polished version of events. I guess we keep on moving.

Parents

  • The level of uncertainty can be off putting when making even the smallest of decisions. It can be anxiety provoking to be unsure of how someone may react to something you do or say so you may act in manner that you feel is the safest in terms of avoiding any negative consequences. Also routine is a key influence on not wanting to rock the boat and change your life too much. Perhaps you are just in auto pilot and acting impulsively instead of doing what you truly want because you believe that people pleasing makes you a more genuine person? 

  • in reply to Autismman

    I think this is it. I feel more comfortable people pleasing, and it helps me to get through situations better, even though with it comes a lot of feeling that im losing the essence of who I am. I actually don't know what I truly want to do, because the thing I do want to do involves socialising with others, and Im finding that really difficult currently

  • in reply to aurelis

    I think sometimes you have to go against the grain to find out who you are. It’s important to be selfish sometimes, love thyself and make finding out who are an adventure, look around you and know that these people are making choices based on their emotions, their wants and needs and you deserve to give yourself the chance to do so also. 

  • in reply to Autismman

    That is so true! I’m making steps to try and do that more 

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