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Worries and Over-Analysing

WitchyPrincess06

People have told me that I tend to overthink things and that I panic and worry about stuff that I shouldn't be. I can't help it, it's just one of the parts of my anxiety and I've slowly come to except that I'm a worrier... but recently a small argument I had with my mum in regards to this part of myself has really stuck in my mind.

My mum and I have recently just come back from a small holiday away and it was the day before we away and we were busy making sure our bags were packed. We were only going away for two days so we wanted to make sure we packed Light. Now one of little things or quirks about me is that it doesn't matter where I am going or how long I'm going to be away home for, I was like to pack things which I believe I would need whether it be meds, hand sanitizer or extra money whatever it may be because I can't help but imagine all the possible emergency situations that might happen when I'm out and about and the disaster that may occur if I don't have any of these things whether necessary or not. For Me, it's better safe than sorry and I feel like I can't function without taking what feels like for me the necessary precautions. So, my mum and I got into the this tiny argument because told me to take a smaller bag even though I explained to her I needed a particular bag because I need my whole purse with my cash. We then went back forth with her telling me that I apparently only needed a small amount of cash with me while I'm trying to explain to her why I need all my money with me. It then she kinda lost her temper a said something along the lines of

"Enough of your nonsense, don't ruin this trip before it starts".

That really hurt my feelings when she said that. Don't get me wrong she sort of apologised for it and we did end up having a nice holiday together... but it's kinda just stuck in the back of my mind. I now have this horrible awful feeling that I somehow annoy people with this quirk of my mine. But I can't help it, I can't just shift it, analysing possible situations that may or may not happen and planning on how to prevent them is the only way I feel I can function. It's like my parents just don't get that.

Do I worry too much?

It upsets me to think I come across as annoying to people because of it.

Parents

  • I relate to this a lot. I wish people understood the weight of their words when they say things like that. I understand that sometimes these actions may be frustrating for them but putting the trip being ruined on you is a lot. I'm sure she didn't mean it to but it's hard to move on from. It also sounds like she didn't handle the situation well either. Did it really matter if you took the bag you wanted to?

    As for the worrying, it is a complicated one. I am a massive over thinker and so far haven't had much luck with therapy. Our brains unfortunately create a cycle in which we try to prevent anything bad from happening but actually make ourselves more anxious in the process.

    I think the hard part then comes with deciding which behaviours are actually just feeding increasing your anxiety and which are actually quite sensible actions.

    I'll give you an example. I used to be really fixated with checking plug sockets and I'd end up checking multiple times before leaving my house and it was becoming a problem. I was really anxious that I'd leave one on and the house would burn down. This is probably the only thing that therapy has actually managed to fix. We talked it through and decided that once was sensible, more than that was excessive. So I had to train my brain not to check, it was hard at first but became easier surprisingly quickly. I'm not as hung up on that particular anxiety anymore.

    Now in an example where I was going on a trip. I have a medication that I am completely reliant on and it would be a disaster if I didn't have it. So do I take extra including putting it in different bags if I'm taking more than one. Absolutely I do because the consequence to not having enough, losing some whilst I was away etc would be massive. Most of the time it won't all be needed and I bring it home again, not really a big deal.

    You will never be able to plan for every situation and you will make yourself a lot more anxious trying. But it's looking at each thing and thinking is this a sensible extra or am I catastrophising. The items you've mentioned seem reasonable to me but it depends on what level of cash you are taking with you. If it's an excessive amount then that probably isn't sensible. If it's an emergency amount incase a card machine doesn't work then fair enough.

  • in reply to Expecto_Patronum
    Expecto_Patronum said:
    Our brains unfortunately create a cycle in which we try to prevent anything bad from happening but actually make ourselves more anxious in the process.

    Very true.

    And if one of the things we prepare for actually happens and we "saved the day" then it reinforces out beliefs and we often get more entrenched in our reasoning.

  • in reply to Iain

    It does and by the same logic if the bad thing never happens we don't relax, we double down.

    However, I do believe with autism there are also situations where we need to do the thing that calms our brain and if it is taking an extra item then so be it. It is keeping the balance of doing the things that keep us regulated without setting off a pattern of increased anxiety.

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  • in reply to Iain

    It does and by the same logic if the bad thing never happens we don't relax, we double down.

    However, I do believe with autism there are also situations where we need to do the thing that calms our brain and if it is taking an extra item then so be it. It is keeping the balance of doing the things that keep us regulated without setting off a pattern of increased anxiety.

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