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Feeling so embarrassed

Elfilis

This is more of a rant post and could possibly be triggering

Ugh, what an awful day today! Just wanted to have a chat with my mum over the phone due to an awful night sleep and summer distressing me, well I ended up having a real meltdown and then mum hung up on me leading me to really get upset and cry really loud like I was having a temper tantrum and forgot all the windows were open. Next thing people are knocking on the door seeing what’s happening and turns out to be two guys from like a crisis ambulance or something. So I had to explain everything to them and then spoke with a very nice and caring lady on the crisis line. Everyone was very supportive there. But I feel so embarrassed now because everyone in the block of flats has heard me and now I’m the gossip of the block. I’m staying at my nans as she’s not here but I just want to be back at mine now, not at mine due to work but tempting to put my mattress in the living room. Mum blocked me and probably even got everyone in the family to block me not that I’m close with them but it’s like they want shut of me. I just feel such in embarrassed idiot now. 

Parents

  • Now that a few days has passed are you faring any better? I know from experience how awful it feels to be cut off by a family member, so I’m not expecting that you’ll feel 100% already, but I’m hoping that the worst is past at least.

    Remember, if things get worse, you can always call the crisis line again. You’re not bothering anyone by utilizing those services as much as you need to.

    I’d like to echo what the others have said about how it goes to show you likely have some caring neighbors nearby. 

  • in reply to profdanger

    I suppose I’m feeling a bit better but not fully recovered. I mean I’ve had horrible meltdowns like this in the past but it’s just the first time people have actually heard me so I feel like such a bad and disturbing neighbour. I’ve managed to block everyone who is trying to send me mean messages but it’s just worse for me at moment as I’m having to stay at my nans flat as mine is being redecorated and I’ve been told to go back to mine despite the work so I’m just secretly having my tea at nans as I have no fridge or cooking appliances. I will add that I had the meltdown in my nans flat but nan is at her caravan so I have the flat alone so it’s those neighbours that heard me not the ones in my block. 

  • in reply to Elfilis

    I'm glad you are OK......and I'm FRIGGING DELIGHTED that profdanger wanted to catch-up and check that you are AOK!  Both these facts bring me joy!

    Dear Elfilis.....rest assured that EVERY member of this community can either a) identify/recall our own sense of embarrassment due to our own behaviour that we have exhibited in the past....and know how "odd or alarming" it was to the outside world....or b) know how close we all are.....at any given moment....to loosing our "sheet" over something that others (aka normies) will NEVER be able to understand.  Please rest assured...we all know and understand.  This place can be a safe place......where we are all allowed to share...as we see fit.

    Dear profdanger....thank you for sustaining a modicum of faith (for me) in the TRUE, ACTUAL value of this place = the opportunity to display our care, genuineness, humanity and understanding for each other....without personal agenda or "education" in mind.

    Thank you both....I've needed to see this!... here ...again.

    Pay it forward....as they say.

  • in reply to Number

    Hiya Number! I’m so glad that you are feeling so good again! Thank you so much for being so understanding and caring with the situation I am in. See not many people do understand and here was the only place I feel I could express everything and I have had such lovely and caring responses! You are right, this is what the community should be about, supporting and reaching out for each other! The “normals” just don’t understand our ways of thinking but I view it as we are gifted this way as I feel we have more abilities to understand and I think that’s what not many people get! 

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  • in reply to Number

    Hiya Number! I’m so glad that you are feeling so good again! Thank you so much for being so understanding and caring with the situation I am in. See not many people do understand and here was the only place I feel I could express everything and I have had such lovely and caring responses! You are right, this is what the community should be about, supporting and reaching out for each other! The “normals” just don’t understand our ways of thinking but I view it as we are gifted this way as I feel we have more abilities to understand and I think that’s what not many people get! 

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