Feeling so embarrassed

This is more of a rant post and could possibly be triggering

Ugh, what an awful day today! Just wanted to have a chat with my mum over the phone due to an awful night sleep and summer distressing me, well I ended up having a real meltdown and then mum hung up on me leading me to really get upset and cry really loud like I was having a temper tantrum and forgot all the windows were open. Next thing people are knocking on the door seeing what’s happening and turns out to be two guys from like a crisis ambulance or something. So I had to explain everything to them and then spoke with a very nice and caring lady on the crisis line. Everyone was very supportive there. But I feel so embarrassed now because everyone in the block of flats has heard me and now I’m the gossip of the block. I’m staying at my nans as she’s not here but I just want to be back at mine now, not at mine due to work but tempting to put my mattress in the living room. Mum blocked me and probably even got everyone in the family to block me not that I’m close with them but it’s like they want shut of me. I just feel such in embarrassed idiot now. 

Parents
  • I get why you feel so embaressed, I would too, I hate peole making a fuss and if I'm upset I just want to be left alone to work through it myself.

    But think of the others in your block differently they heard you in distress, they had no idea what had happened, you could of fallen and been screaming in pain, at least they care enough to call someone, many places you could be dead for a month or more before anyone would notice.

  • That is also true! It’s a hard one to call really. Like I personally just wanted to be left alone as having a bunch of random people coming to see what’s happening can just add to stress, plus I feel are they just wanting to be nosy. But again it’s better to be safe than sorry in case something drastic really did happen. Everyone has been checking to see if I’m ok and that which is nice but I just feel guilty for causing panic and a scene. But I suppose if someone else was in that much distress I would want to check on them too. It’s so hard to explain what’s happening. As the paramedic said to me at the weekend, you can see if someone has a broken arm or leg as they tend to wear a cast but with mental illness no one can see what’s wrong with the brain so it’s much harder to tell when someone is struggling, especially when masking

Reply
  • That is also true! It’s a hard one to call really. Like I personally just wanted to be left alone as having a bunch of random people coming to see what’s happening can just add to stress, plus I feel are they just wanting to be nosy. But again it’s better to be safe than sorry in case something drastic really did happen. Everyone has been checking to see if I’m ok and that which is nice but I just feel guilty for causing panic and a scene. But I suppose if someone else was in that much distress I would want to check on them too. It’s so hard to explain what’s happening. As the paramedic said to me at the weekend, you can see if someone has a broken arm or leg as they tend to wear a cast but with mental illness no one can see what’s wrong with the brain so it’s much harder to tell when someone is struggling, especially when masking

Children
No Data