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Feeling Disheartened

Crystal

I wasn't sure whether to post, but does anyone else struggle with finding genuine friends?     Lately i seem to spend a lot of time listening to friends issues, but I feel it's not reciprocated as much.   I won't say more as it's too depressing to dwell on.    

I'm not sure how much this is to do with autism, as I was only recently diagnosed.    

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  • Crystal said:
    Lately i seem to spend a lot of time listening to friends issues

    Very much so, I don’t bother telling one of my friends the biggest changes in my life because it’ll feel like I’m wasting my time as I just get the feeling they’d rather not know about it. 

  • in reply to Autismman

    Ouch, I feel that.    You've put into words something I've struggled with.    But when I feel like that and think they aren't going to care, I get very close to ghosting or distancing myself.

    I wonder what a way forward might be?   I think I've come to terms with the fact that I need therapy now, but I hope there's a way of resolving this.    It doesn't seem fair to me to do all the listening.   Actually i do feel hurt about it sometimes.  Maybe if there were some different ways to ask without sounding awkward?

  • in reply to Crystal

    I don’t think the friend is doing it deliberately, they themselves may lack insight into their own behaviours. You could also go down the route of telling them how you feel if that would be safe in your eyes. For me personally this friend of mine is probably autistic also so I let him off a bit but still have a problem with some of his behaviours at times, it can be very one sided. 

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  • in reply to Crystal

    I don’t think the friend is doing it deliberately, they themselves may lack insight into their own behaviours. You could also go down the route of telling them how you feel if that would be safe in your eyes. For me personally this friend of mine is probably autistic also so I let him off a bit but still have a problem with some of his behaviours at times, it can be very one sided. 

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