Right to Choose and Informant

Thanks that's helpful. My mother will help but I don't think she really understands what autism is or sees it in me. I think she thinks autistic people don't have friends. 

Thanks for your message and link to your question, which indeed was closely related. From the responses to your question, it seems like many others had faced questioned the role of the informant, especially in relation to childhood experiences. I will follow your example and list out examples of quirks from early days and so on, so I'm prepared when the assessment takes place (it could be a while as I'm on the waiting list). I read with interest that you chose Clinical Partners - as I have chosen them too. Also, you mentioned your husband is ASD - so it my husband. 

Hi Ang.  I've just been through this aged 56 and was asking a near  a very closely related question 2 months ago here Late assessment - ADIR without an informant who knew me as a child - Autistic adults - Home - National Autistic Society - Our Community    You may find it useful to read some of the replies I got because they were helpful to me.    I asked the assessing organisation about this and they told me that my husband would be fine as an informant.  But because he has only known me since I was 38  I also spent an evening or 2 before the assessment  listing out examples of my quirks as they were expressed from pre-school days through school and beyond so that I was able to provide evidence myself.  In my case, that was sufficient.   
Good luck!

The assessors really do need some pragmatism when dealing with our age group!

My parents were not an option. 

However, another assessor spoke with my Husband (who has lived in the same household as me for several decades).

Also, as soon as the assessor speaking with me realised that I could recall great detail around numerous issues I experienced attending Nursery School etc  - they lit up and asked me loads of questions about: school, friends, family, hobbies, social groups, pets, interests and problems and positives associated with me at ages: 3 / 4 / 5.

Before the assessment, I had taken some time to have a think about (ages: 3 / 4 / 5) what I remembered around my likes / dislikes and easy to follow / easy to learn / confusing / frustrating things, plus, included / shunned events and activities.

I also reminded myself who, if anyone, within my close and more distant relatives (across the different generations accessible to me in those days) I experienced as easy company.  It soon became clearer to me there were some "neuro-kin", not many but they did exist - and they just might not all have necessarily been from within my own siblings / cousins generation.

I was reflecting upon quite who of my relatives, when I was that young age (and since), made for company which I naturally found to be: fun, educational, interesting, relaxing, great-for-me gift giver (my passions not my age group), trustworthy company - the people with whom you didn't have to justify or explain yourself - the people who didn't find my language comment worthy in a negative way - the people with you could enjoy either doing complex practical things together (or each just reading their own choice of material) in near silence (if we were in deep focus) - the people around whom the concept of masking just did not arise.  They were in the minority.

(As opposed to; those relatives who back then - and throughout life - I found too: noisy, handsy, derogatory, scary, starting, unreliable - the people it felt like were deliberately misinterpreting my words, actions and passions.  The long things they valued and liked to do - with which I could never identify and around whom I found it safest to adopt masking to the maximum.  They were in the majority).

When I was thinking about "my people" within our family; I looked through some family photos.  I am not generally a "be-in-photo" fan.  It provided insight: with whom had I agreed to participate in a photo, what were we doing or celebrating, who was the photographer and depending who the person was - did I look comfortable / happy / natural ...or masking the best I could in the circumstances?

I received my formal diagnosis.

Thanks Roy for your insights, this is very informative and has provided clarity for me. 

Thanks for taking the time to reply. It is good to know that your evidence and stories were used to provide a diagnosis. I'm also glad that there are other people on the forums aged 50s and 60s. 

Thanks for your reply this is very helpful and reassuring.

I was diagnosed when I was 63 last year, and I didn’t have an informant.

In an ideal world, we would all have an informant, but most reputable autism assessors would realise that not all adults would have one. 

I can’t speak for all assessors, but the clinic I went to stated that a life partner would be a good option instead. 

You can do it without.

I am almost the same age. I was going to go without but my parents offered to fill in a form and had a 30 min meeting. Their form showed I had no issue, they had no extra info really and didn't have school reports etc. So their contribution was potentially negative.

But I still got diagnosed from all my own stories and evidence. 

I have been on my own for a long time, so no partner, teachers, etc. either.

I still  not sure what they saw in me, but they seemed quite sure before we even started.

Hi, I was recently diagnosed at the age of 57. It was done with no informant and no school records. My wife sat in on the second part and just answered a few questions on what I’m like to live with.

My mum passed a few years back and my dad has a form of Alzheimer’s so I asked my partner to do it, only been with her 10 years but still got a diagnosis and I am in my mid to late 30s.