I wonder if it’s a common thing among autistic people to almost obsess over the past and not be able to move on from negative experiences however long ago they were. It’s like it stays with you, becomes a part of you and moulds your thoughts and actions at the same time. I’ve always suffered from rumination or the plague of “what ifs?”. Sometimes it’s hard not to really be down on myself as a human being. I’m far from perfect but guilt is overwhelming at times, I start to think the great people I have around me deserve better. I’ve never had confidence in anything, there’s never been a time in my life where I’ve felt actually confident. Whenever something good comes my way I find a way of tainting it with self doubt that I’m not worthy or that I’m not good enough for this.
