Thought loops and anxiety

I wonder if it’s a common thing among autistic people to almost obsess over the past and not be able to move on from negative experiences however long ago they were. It’s like it stays with you, becomes a part of you and moulds your thoughts and actions at the same time. I’ve always suffered from rumination or the plague of “what ifs?”. Sometimes it’s hard not to really be down on myself as a human being. I’m far from perfect but guilt is overwhelming at times, I start to think the great people I have around me deserve better. I’ve never had confidence in anything, there’s never been a time in my life where I’ve felt actually confident. Whenever something good comes my way I find a way of tainting it with self doubt that I’m not worthy or that I’m not good enough for this. 

Parents
  • It definitely seems to common. A lot of people with autism have good memories, particularly long term. I don't know whether this is a factor in that we remember more of the last. Rumination is certainly something that I struggle with.

    I read once that people's memories are inaccurate because the same part of the brain is used to predict the future and the future is not certain so that part of the brain has to be flexible, meaning that memories end up being flexible too. I wondered when reading it whether that part of the brain is actually different in autism in that it isn't as flexible and so that same part gives us better, more reliable memories but struggle with uncertainty of the future and are rigid about changes with plans coming up etc. I may have completely made up science with that theory but it made sense to me.

    Unfortunately, I also think a lot of people with autism do have bad experiences growing up whether it is just finding the world confusing and overwhelming or experiencing things like bullying. These negative experiences shapes our brains and leads to these patterns of rumination. This could be another reason.

  • I think trauma is more easily developed in autistic people due to lacking in what everyone else is born with when they are NT. When you are younger you lack the skills to accurately articulate your feelings and then tie those feelings to the logical cause. If you are not listened to or heard then you end up feeling very alone.

  • Yes. I think our trauma threshold is also lower due to what we find stressful. Normal day life for a neurotypical person can cause huge amounts of stress for us. I heard a programme about PTSD once and they were saying that for some people with autism something like a change in bus route could trigger PTSD due to the level of stress it causes.

Reply
  • Yes. I think our trauma threshold is also lower due to what we find stressful. Normal day life for a neurotypical person can cause huge amounts of stress for us. I heard a programme about PTSD once and they were saying that for some people with autism something like a change in bus route could trigger PTSD due to the level of stress it causes.

Children
  • I heard a programme about PTSD once and they were saying that for some people with autism something like a change in bus route could trigger PTSD due to the level of stress it causes

    Francesca Happe uses the story of the guy bus was diverted and he didn't know where he was or whether it was safe. So then would not take any bus and had problems going near a bus stop.

    I think 3 key things that contribute to PTSD are 1. good memory, 2. problems with understanding and creating a coherent narrative, and 3. emotional disregulation.

    Without understanding what's happened to you and why, you can't process it and tend to remember how you felt, which is hard.