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Thought loops and anxiety

Autismman

I wonder if it’s a common thing among autistic people to almost obsess over the past and not be able to move on from negative experiences however long ago they were. It’s like it stays with you, becomes a part of you and moulds your thoughts and actions at the same time. I’ve always suffered from rumination or the plague of “what ifs?”. Sometimes it’s hard not to really be down on myself as a human being. I’m far from perfect but guilt is overwhelming at times, I start to think the great people I have around me deserve better. I’ve never had confidence in anything, there’s never been a time in my life where I’ve felt actually confident. Whenever something good comes my way I find a way of tainting it with self doubt that I’m not worthy or that I’m not good enough for this. 

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  • I think it is common. But you can change your thinking. I'm not saying it's easy though.

    You need to distract yourself and/or not allow yourself to start certain loops.

    I think they point to unresolved issues. The way to stop them for good is to resolve the issue, rather than bury it. But this may be hard and require support and preparation.

    Sometimes you think for ages with no purpose, so before starting decide on an output. Also I can forget what I concluded or thought about and do it again a few hours. Try to write down where you got to.

    It is important to try to look forwards and have something good you are working towards.  Try not to look for the worst case, but the best case, it gives optimism. I find this hard as i always want to plan for the worst, part of masking, but is unhelpful.

    You also want to try to live in the moment. Notice and be grateful for small things, the sun coming in the window, the birds singing, the tasty sandwich you just had. Celebrate little wins.

    Write down all the good things.

    Beware of cognitive distortions. NTs can do these too but we are more prone. I didn't know about this but have done all of them. My worst one being black and white thinking and mind reading.

    This is a good video, I have posted the link before. The presenter is autistic, so you should be able to relate. I think it is his best video.

    https://youtu.be/Ek6V4F6nWM8

    1. Should & must statements
    2. Magnification of bad, minimisation of good
    3. Over generalisation
    4. Emotional reasoning 
    5. Mind reading
    6. Catastrophising 
    7. Personalization 
    8. Black and white (all or nothing) thinking.

    This is more NT, but it still works.

    youtu.be/aAVGyRMS3gE

  • in reply to Stuart333

    Thanks, I’ve done CBT but it never really clicked with me because of the black and white thinking, it gave me some new ways of trying to think which was good because I’d try anything if it’s a positive step in the right direction but CBT only works as well as you do with it so there’s a lot of homework and self discipline needed. 

  • in reply to Autismman

    The only person that can control or change your thoughts is you. Unless you take drugs.

    The brain can be (re-)trained.

    What you can't do is forget things, so you have no option but to come to terms with them and look ahead. It is hard to avoid a car crash if you are driving looking in the rear view mirror.

    You also need to eat well, or at least not be malnourished, exercise and sleep as well as possible.

    This helps to level you hormones which promotes your brain working properly.

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  • in reply to Autismman

    The only person that can control or change your thoughts is you. Unless you take drugs.

    The brain can be (re-)trained.

    What you can't do is forget things, so you have no option but to come to terms with them and look ahead. It is hard to avoid a car crash if you are driving looking in the rear view mirror.

    You also need to eat well, or at least not be malnourished, exercise and sleep as well as possible.

    This helps to level you hormones which promotes your brain working properly.

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