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Autism and loneliness

melal

Hello all,

I hope that all of you are doing well. I wanted your advice because sometimes I feel lonely as an autistic person. It feels like nobody truly understands you or how you function even if you try to explain. Sometimes people don't even bother to listen which is even worse. And you see all over social media that we are just 'stupid' and people online being like 'that one autistic kid in my school', and do not get me started on the advocacy of applied behavioural therapy and people just trying to 'take the autism out of us' which definitely doesn't help either. I have noticed a pattern: when you are perceived as 'not fitting in' or 'different', no one truly gives you the chance to be 'normal'.  I would really appreciate any advice about how to cope with it. 

Thank you so much for reading and am looking forward to any responses!  

  • Hello mela,

    sorry to hear you are feeling lonely, something we do suffer with. I go cycling with my local club who are very understanding and I love the cafe stops and having a laugh. Maybe there is a club or society near to you that may interest you? There are great people here to chat with as I am sure you have found out. 

  • in reply to melal

    Thanks Melal let us know how you get on with the social prescribing and have a great day too :) 

  • in reply to Rach.Mo

    Hello Rach,

    Thank you for this message and I am so sorry you struggle with this too. I definitely agree with us not being stupid, and sadly it's just society putting expectations onto us. I really hope local social prescribing helps you to make new friends and to be less anxious about socialising too! Have an amazing day! :) 

  • Hi Melal,

    I have just noticed your post after just posting one on loneliness myself. I have an appointment made with a local social prescriber where I live. I guess we are not alone in feeling lonely. I struggle, or certainly feel that I struggle, to make and maintain friendships and I am currently feeling very lonely. I definitely don’t think that we are stupid as autistic people… I do feel that I am different, I think I struggle with humour compared to other people and I definitely feel socially very anxious. I hope the recommendations from others are helpful and that some of them help to ease your loneliness. 

  • in reply to Autismman

    Thank you so much for this message. It means a lot to me, especially the part about being different not being bad! And it is so nice to know that this space is filled with people like you who are kind and caring! :) 

  • Hey melal, sorry to hear you are having such a rough time of it all. You’ve come to the right place to speak with other neurodivergents, there’s no judgement here at all. Feel free to post, there’s a lot of helpful and caring individuals here constantly firing advice and tips. No ones is stupid, they just think differently from the mainstream shall we say and that’s never a bad thing. 

  • in reply to melal

    You’re most welcome - and thank you for your kind words Pray

  • in reply to Bunny

    Thank you so much for the advice! I will definitely read the articles on loneliness by NAS and read more about social prescribing! I am sorry too that you feel this way sometimes too. We are never alone that should always be the moral of the story! 

  • I'm sorry to hear how you're sometimes feeling. Unfortunately, it's not uncommon for us to feel lonely and isolated. I’m currently working on the same isue myself.

    You might find some of the advice in these articles helpful:

    NAS - Loneliness - includes links to other examples of autistic people's experiences of loneliness and how they cope.

    NAS - Making friends - a guide for autistic adults

    You might like to consider asking your GP to refer you to your local social prescriber. I've had a course with ours and found it helpful.

    Their role is to develop a personalised care and support plan that meets your social needs, as well as your practical and emotional needs.

    This could include helping you to find friends, local groups, or socialising activities, for example. The article below explains more (it relates to England, but the same model operates throughout the UK):

    NHS England - Social prescribing

    You might also be able to find some socialising opportunities via the the NAS's directory, or through a local NAS branch:

    NAS - Autism Services Directory

    NAS - Branches

    As a final suggestion, you could search on Facebook and/or Google for any local groups that might fit with your interests and hobbies.