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Bullying at school

Lisa Lee

My Daughter has suffered bullying at school since starting Secondary school.  Numerous reports but nothing improves. The school will not tell us how they dealt with our reports,  but don't believe anything has been done or surely it would stop! The last 2 years has been a girl who has turned other girls against her, nasty comments,  pushing her, bashing her bag into her, kicking her chair and even stolen from her! 

My Daughter has already got low self esteem and bad mental health from it all, had started self harming and when we told the school this, we hoped they would take it more seriously,  but nothing improved! She now has nausea most days and lots of headaches,  so has had more time off school. She has no friends because she has had the confidence knocked out of her,plus kids saying "ewww why are you friends with her" comments. It's heartbreaking. 

I just don't understand why the school isn't helping a vulnerable child! She won't change school because she has no confidence and said it could be the same! The head of sen called her a drama queen and said she just likes the drama,  yet she hates drama and being centre of attention and when she proceeded to tell what happened,  he told her it was bs!

We had been asking about social skills and eventually something was arranged but my Daughter said no, then changed her mind and the bullying was in it, so she changed her mind. Then they said they opened a club with my Daughter in mind, but it was mentioned to the whole class and because the name, everyone laughed, so that was the end of that, then the other day she said even of she changed her mind, she wouldn't go because the bully was in that too with the girl she turned against my Daughter! This bullying has lots of friends and no social skills problems!

They have a club at lunch for sen children,  but other kids see them in there and laugh, so she won't go there as already laughed at and bullied! 

I just don't know what the school should be doing.  They say they speak to the bullies,  but nothing improves.  Sometimes it makes things worse because they go around telling everyone she reported them and gets called a snitch! 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated 

Parents

  • Hello,

    I myself am nineteen. I also struggled at the hands of bullying throughout most of my school years - the support from teachers is an absolute joke. Everyone I know like myself, has found that the education system brush past bullying and ignore the devastating effects it has, whilst also preaching about how terrible it is.

    Whenever I called out an injustice, I was too, labelled as a snitch and threatened with being attacked numerous times.

    Thankfully, I had one friend in the chaos of it all who stood up for me when people picked on me. 

    My advice would be, is that posting about the school usually incites a reaction, whether on Facebook or somewhere online. They won’t want their reputation tarnished, and so hopefully would offer support after a few “kind” words online. Even when my mum arranged a meeting and shouted at the school for things to change, little was done. Unfortunately kids and teenagers can have this mentality and it is almost built into the culture as terrible as it is - and it can have a domino affect. I found I started changing my personality and how I dressed just to fit in - to stop the bullying. But that should never be the answer - nobody should have to change to fit in more.

    From the sounds of what you described, I would really consider changing schools. As scary as it is, and as little as your daughter thinks it would help, It would do the world of good. Perhaps she may even make a few friends in a new environment and things will get better for her - but unless you try there is no way of knowing.

    At one school, I had no friends - and another, I ended up with a group of about 5 friends who I created some very fond memories with. It’s worth a shot.

    (take it from someone who transferred schools around 6-7 times)

    I hope that she feels better in future and that the bullying stops. Nobody should have to deal with that.

Reply

  • Hello,

    I myself am nineteen. I also struggled at the hands of bullying throughout most of my school years - the support from teachers is an absolute joke. Everyone I know like myself, has found that the education system brush past bullying and ignore the devastating effects it has, whilst also preaching about how terrible it is.

    Whenever I called out an injustice, I was too, labelled as a snitch and threatened with being attacked numerous times.

    Thankfully, I had one friend in the chaos of it all who stood up for me when people picked on me. 

    My advice would be, is that posting about the school usually incites a reaction, whether on Facebook or somewhere online. They won’t want their reputation tarnished, and so hopefully would offer support after a few “kind” words online. Even when my mum arranged a meeting and shouted at the school for things to change, little was done. Unfortunately kids and teenagers can have this mentality and it is almost built into the culture as terrible as it is - and it can have a domino affect. I found I started changing my personality and how I dressed just to fit in - to stop the bullying. But that should never be the answer - nobody should have to change to fit in more.

    From the sounds of what you described, I would really consider changing schools. As scary as it is, and as little as your daughter thinks it would help, It would do the world of good. Perhaps she may even make a few friends in a new environment and things will get better for her - but unless you try there is no way of knowing.

    At one school, I had no friends - and another, I ended up with a group of about 5 friends who I created some very fond memories with. It’s worth a shot.

    (take it from someone who transferred schools around 6-7 times)

    I hope that she feels better in future and that the bullying stops. Nobody should have to deal with that.

Children