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Feeling others emotions in the room

Autismman

Does anyone ever experience an unease around people sometimes in the sense that if they are on edge or stressed or maybe even going through some personal struggles this is passed onto you and makes you unsettled also. They don’t have to say anything directly to you but there’s an uncomfortable atmosphere, like it’s grating on you and polluting the environment around you and your inner calmness becomes electrified with energy you don’t want. I am not sure if this is just an autistic thing or more of a heightened state when around others due to anxiety. Is it also possible it’s a way to avoid any emotional stress yourself by picking up on these vibes and heading for the exit when possible? 

Parents

  • this for me is a hypervigilance thing associated to relative levels of stress and anxiety - if I find that I am especially sensitive in this way it probably is me being hyper stressed (funnily enough I don't often find it easy to acknowledge this as I have been metaphorically swimming in an ocean of it for a long time so don't realise that I am getting wet!)  What I think I may be alluding to here is that inner calmness has different levels - what one thinks of as being calm may not be as calm as one imagines.  So, prevention being better than cure and it is not possible to know something one does not know, exploring strategies which claim to explore a deeper level of calm can be enlightening.  Then there is the hard thing of self monitoring - it can be that events take place that only much later one realises have caused distress so it is difficult to identify cause and effect because of the (warning show-off clever word coming up!) temporal separation.  I have for a profession made it my career to attempt to help people who exhibit this sort of energy (from behind a white coat) - help can resolve the problem at source... sometimes....  However is not without risk to oneself and needs care in order not to be caught up in collateral damage - especially since autism comes with an apparent deficit in social communication capability that appears to insulate neurotypical people from harm somewhat.  There is a strategy that is encouraged for communication with autistic people "ask, listen, do"  - this might be worth exploring with the neurotypicals too.  Careful with it tho'... I would recommend that in the "do" part one also concludes that doing nothing (at least until the time is most optimal) is a perfectly valid thing.

  • in reply to Phased

    I would also add that some people are damn tough to just be around due to the negative energy they give out. This energy transfers to the room, to you and even others which then taints the entire experience. This repeated exposure to the “wrong” types of people leads to a burnout and resistance or even refusal to be in their presence any longer. This is especially difficult in the work place, it has such a direct impact on mental health and can drop confidence levels to new lows.

  • in reply to Autismman

    agreed, there is a degree of contagion and some people are just bad to be with - I am also conscious of myself being that person sometimes!

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